The Ramblings of Guise Dugal

Ok folks, I’ll level with you, I’ve been a bad blogger over the summer months - and not in the ‘ooer, naughty’ way, well not that much in that way - but I’ve been very remiss in writing much and let things slip. Part of this was working a new job - of which I have already switched between posts in the same place - and another part was just not having the vibe for writing.

At the moment, I’m trying to get more done here. I have more desire to do things through the non-summer months, mainly to keep people from getting bored. Summer makes its own fun and distractions, the rest of the time, it doesn’t help to lend a hand. Quality may not be stretching, but I hope at least to have some filler or things to stir up a little of something inside (amusement, anger, bloating).

I’m looking towards Halloween, which is where I think I’ll probably be better on track. I’m hoping to work out 31 days of posts (which is proving daunting to come up with 31 ideas), as well as a little thing that I guess could be said to be inspired by the concept of Box 23, House of Leaves and the virals for Dark Knight/Cloverfield. So, hope you guys will bear with me for that. I’m also looking to stir something up with the fellow writers - how do you all feel about writing short, pointless stories?

So, you may see filler frequently popping up where there should be content, but I’m sure it’ll lead to something decent.

So, a little filler for right now? Well, if you remember I mentined getting my own Hare and Hssxxlllo ( for the uninitiated, two Playmobil bunnies from the 2007 Advent Calendar on x-entertainment.com). This brought back floods of happy memories about the story and the Box 23 mysteries, and most obviously the friendships that grew from the Advent-urers community. It also rekindled so much love for Hssxxlllo, that adorable cottonbum, that I wanted to do something in tribute.

So, I made my first music video. A tribute to Hssxxlllo, Hare and Hare’s campaign, set (badly, my timing and Windows Movie Maker sucks) to Viva La Vida by Coldplay. Plus, bonus footage.

~~ Until later, keep with the Serious Sex Face ~~

Usually, I’m opposed to writing filler, but I have been rather lacking on the blogging front of late and something needs to be done, dammit. As a result of not posting much, a few ideas have slipped by, a few thoughts have been missed and some events passed unmentioned and now seem to far back to be worth commenting on in any great detail. So, I’ve decided to just make an overview of random things and see how that goes.

28 July 2008 - The Grand Pier

This one I’m fairly annoyed that I didn’t write about before, but now it’s a month on I just can’t gather the steam or nostalgia to do this justice, so instead I’ll share it briefly.

Growing up in this town, Weston super Mare, and the surrounding area, there really isn’t much to do or see. We get holidaymakers visiting purely because they have never seen mud and salt water before (or they are Welsh and pray for even a day released from that torment, to act like normal people).

One of the things we had going for us was the Grand Pier, an amusement arcade in a pavillion on the end of jetty. It wasn’t fabulous by any stretch of imagination, in fact it was standard broadwalk affair mostly. There was ice cream and candy floss, ticket-rewarding gambling machines to help you earn hundreds of points for a golf pencil, ghost train, crazy house and dodgems. The video games were ever shrinking, as could be said for all arcades these days, with the main remaining as racers and shooters, with th old Robocop platformer and occassional other token classic.

You may notice that I’ve used past tense so far. Good eyes. You see on the morning of July 28th, as I walked to catch my bus with my brother, I looked to the sky.

“Whoa, what the hell is that?” “What…?” “the big smoky cloud of…smoke”

So, we walk a little further and try to work out what is burning so much, my first though was the Winter Gardens, a local conference and entertainment centre, but it was burning beyond that. It wasn’t that place that had the, as news put it, 100 ft column of smoke billowing from it.

Nope…

I Believe In Harvey Dent

The structure was aluminum and the exterior was PVC, the end result isn’t much of a surprise then.

Of course, someone on the radio said that ‘this is the end of Weston, we have nothing for tourists now’. Amusingly, the town seems a lot busier because people are coming to see the wreckage of a 100+ year old Victorian Pier that survived the war.

Burger King Dark Grill Sauce and Pepper Ketchup

I’m still trying to find out how to get this taste, maybe I’ll work it out for October amongst my hopefully frantic (and special spooky filled) Halloween blog frenzy.

Colouring In

Lets face it, the majority of you here know that Dio draws some cool and amazing stuff, this is hardly any secret. Her DeviantArt gallery is full of kick ass pictures, from sketches to paintings. In my duller moments, I chose to edit (read: ruin) these wonderful sketches by applying colour for her. If you want a laugh, you can see them here, for the originals check out her gallery. In fact, just check her gallery, it’s worth it.

Zombies

Working in a hospital makes me think and talk a lot more about zombies than ever before.

A Moment I Wish Was On Film

This morning. I was sat on the bus and up ahead was a well-known to the locals gentleman who sells the Big Issue, a magazine made for and sold by the homeless (or recently housed), as he left the bus at a following stop I noticed he’d dropped his keys. I rushed up the bus, scooped them off the floor and followed him to the door calling as he disembarked. I handed them over to him.

Now, to picture the scene fully…I was leaning out of a bus, a set of shining keys at arms length between pinched fingers towards his cupped outstretched hand, as he stood with his collection of homeless charity magazines under his arm…and dressed in an evening suit, white opera scarf and top hat.

The guy is actually really nice and known locally for his sense of humour, his notices to advertise the Big Issue has the rather tongue in cheek request for people to form ordely queues and he has a plush puppy alongside a message not to feed the dog ‘he’s stuffed’.

Was one of those surreal moments to me though.

eBay

I’ve had some great luck with eBay recently. For a future cosplay I hope to try, I got a hip bag that looks close to what Blue/Gary Oak from Pokemon wears. I’ve managed to secure at least one pretty nifty (in my opinion) gift.

Today, I took delivery of two packs of Playmobil 4456: Bunny Music Lesson, or as most of us know it better as “holy crap, the pack with Hssxxlllo Ussall and Hare Winningham in!” Yes, after bidding, praying and waiting for delivery, they are mine. As for the wait…said2beavirtue.

Halloween

Man, I’m Jonesing, as you might have noticed from past posts. I have Halloween plans for the blog, and I’ve had fun getting stuff ready, some of it has already been hinted at. Watch this space.

Random Other Stuff

Few things that have been on my mind, but not sure I’d stretch out much from:
- UK comedians that most Americans (and Canadians) might not have heard of
- Weight, fitness and appearance
- Yummy smells
- Fashion (I need a guru)
- Brawl and Wii
- Libido (yeah, that’ll be one you folk will probably not get to see)
- Monster Munch (I’ll probably wait until October)

Ok, so Josh might be as cute as a button and a sweetheart, who has categorically stated he doesn’t want me to tell anyone that for fear of spoil his adorable ‘bad boy’ reputation. He even compared himself to a human waxwork dummy to prove his classiness.

Who can challenge that? Not me.

Today, I smell of chocolate and strawberries. I smell like this from Lynx chocolate-scented shower gel and deodorant and strawberry-scented shampoo and toothpaste (yes, that toothpaste, I use it occassionaly).

I taste of strawberries from lip balm, but with a hint of icy cool menthol from gum.

I’ve been dressed in my black suit with tie and a pressed blue shirt.

I have a pen in the shape of a hypodermic needle, the nib comes out when you press the syringe down.

I have got confirmation that my eBay wins for Hssxxlllo are being dispatched.

I’m not classy, but I feel yummy.

Like so many others, I’m in a bit of a jones for stuff, amongst which sits Halloween. Lets face it, Halloween rocks and between Summer - which has been a bit of a bust, to be honest - and Christmas, there is very little else to get excited about in these parts.

I know I’m not alone in my jonesing, so how about a bit of audience participation to get us through?

Share with the class scenes from books, movies or games that creeped you out (the kind that sees you putting on all the house lights afterwards) and/or multiple things you irrationally fear most and what it is that creeps you out about them.

Clowns are evil.

I’ve procrastinated a long time on this one, I admit. I’ve been rather pre-occupied with other things and random thoughts. Some of you, I know, have been waiting patiently; others have been waiting impatiently; and, some couldn’t really care less. The latter will probably find this most appealing because I’m not quite sure how to fill an entry about junk food and I’ll likely just use pictures a lot. Everyone likes pictures right?

So, a while back I had the Dark All-Knighter, where I got to watch Dark Knight, and consume junk food from Burger King that had been released to tie in to the movie. The main product was the Dark Whopper, which I’ll get on to later, but before I do I think I need to cover another item on the Burger King promotion and hopefully restore a certain x-ceptional blogger’s somewhat lost faith in BK’s child-orientated promotions of late.

Matt over at X-Entertainment, as you will all probably have read, had a very disappointing trip to BK during his Summer Mega-Party and though he scored a nifty Prinplup card and Manaphy card holder (which, as an aside, I got to watch Pokemon Movie 8 and 9 on Sunday, so I know a little about) he was ultimately miffed by how little the King had chosen to grace his young subjects with.

Matt, I bought you a BK kids meal, but I ated it.

BK Kids Club Meal - Batman Promo

One of the main issues that Matt picked up on was how lowly the packaging was for his BK meal in comparison with McDonalds. Whereas McDonalds would offer a cardboard self-contained fun-o-rama, BK shoved everything in to a brown paper bag. Now, I know that BK tends to only hold a limited number of theme bags for their promotions, and it’s not uncommon to see them run out, but usually there is the fall-back white BK Kids bag with maze game waiting in the back, like the fat kid waving his hand to be picked for the soccer team.

I didn’t have that problem though, as the promotion was fresh and the bags were still stacked flat on top of the little hot plate area where food magically appears from.

Ok, in fairness the bag hits the crap level on fun factor. The front features a simple Batman picture, standing there stock still as if waiting for a bus as much as ready to spring in to action, the sides feature the other toys in the range. The back is an advert for the mini-Angus range.

There could easily have been a maze or some deductive game thrown in, instead we have an advertisment for burgers on a bag that already contains the food the kid will eat. At least, I got a bag with a theme.

Opening a BK kids bag is always slightly disappointing, as McDonalds usually builds boxes that are small enough to make everything seem crammed in, BK gives everything plenty of room. Looking inside always seems to raise the question of “is this it?”. For some reason, I thought it apt to have chicken bites before seeing Dark Knight, seeing as the kids options were chicken, breaded chicken, grilled chicken or burger, I was kind of limited on options. Those chicken bites sucked.

Who cares about the food though, no adult buys kids meals for the food, we buy it for the toys. The BK Dark Knight range consists of a Bat Signal which lights up, the Tumbler Batmobile, a teeny-frisbee throwing Batman bust, a mini-frisbee (about the size of a cup lid) with Batman statuette, a punching Batman figure and a Bat Scanner disc thing that you look at pictures through.

It is pretty much the standard - half are cool, half are sucky - ratio of free toys, and I’m sad that there was no Joker related toys available. Obviously, I wanted one of the good ones, the Tumbler, Bat Signal or, last resort, Punching Bats. I delved in to the bag, ever hopeful.

Score! The Tumbler was mine and what’s more, the little booklet included told me that it was one of those pull back and release deals. I actually spent ages playing with the damn thing, until it shot off my desk and is currently patrolling the seedy underbelly of my bed.

Mozarella Sticks

I’m not sure if these really are tied in to the promotion, but they appeared on the posters with the Whoppers as well as on their own posters, so I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt. I’ll even playfully rationalise that their inclusion is that the insides look a little like the Joker’s face, if you squint and imagine the Joker being made of stringy, melted cheese.

It had a nice pizza taste, but there was no mistaking its cheese contents and there does seem to be a maximum cheese intake that a person can consume. Four seems to do it.

The Dark Whopper

Before I start on this, I want to moan about something. I would like to moan about the advertising of the Dark Whopper as being a load of crap. Let’s just see this, shall we?

First off, Batman is a goddamn hero with issues, but his ‘dark side’ isn’t being a dick. Secondly, how the hell is the Dark Whopper inspired by Dark Knight when it’s the same burger, with the same name, that was launched as a promotion for Spiderman 3? Grr.

As for the Dark Whopper itself. Mouth sex. Quarterpounder in a bun (I’ve had it served in both sesame seed and that powdery-floury bun), all the salad, pepperjack cheese, black pepper ketchup (tomato ketchup and black pepper for the win) and ‘dark’ grill sauce. The pepper isn’t overwhelming, but does give it an extra kick and adds spice to the deal. The mouth gets a lot of added warmth and theres a nice creaminess to the taste.

I’ll always pick a Whopper over a Big Mac, but a Dark Whopper is the daddy. The Dark Whopper takes the Whopper roughly from behind while telling the Big Mac to not move, because he’s next.

The Dark Whopper is Dark. The Dark Whopper is King.

Will you come with me to play?

Will you take the trip, past the dilapidated and derelict structures of the old Hannah Mills, and then follow the tree-arched road through the dark Winnicott Woods, where the long fox stalks and slinks through the shadowed growths?

Will you join me at the house on Gardiner Hill and not look back on the view behind?

Will you hear what I see and see what I feel?

Will you come with me to play in the darkened halls of the house on Gardiner Hill?

Guise Dugal: Kyah! (Drops from the ceiling dressed in black hoodie, pants and black towel wrapped around neck)
Dugal Dugal: Holy cr…
Guise: Hi?
Dugal: Dude, what the hell?! Where’d you come from, and what the hell is up with you voice?
Guise: Ah…you noticed my manly, gravelly growl?
Dugal: It sounds like strep…
Guise: No, I’m…BatRogue! I talk like this whenever I don my costume!
Dugal: …and people think I’m the crazy one. What the hell is all this for?
Guise: Dark. Knight.
Dugal: Yeah…but that was, like, Thursday and it’s Saturday now.
Guise: The awesomeness knows no limits.
Dugal: Your costume budget does though.

Yes, like a lot of people, I went to see The Dark Knight and came away, again like a lot of people, suitably impressed by the movie.

For anyone who hasn’t seen the movie, let me just say that it’s very hard to actually discuss the story and even the major characters without spoilers, so to protect those who haven’t seen it yet, my review is going to be very brief and only mention elements that are either common knowldge, opinion or excruciatingly vague.

I loved Batman Begins as a restart point for the franchise, it took the gritty darkness of the Burton films and spiced up with a dash of realism and simplicity, everything about the movie was toned down to an industrial, everyday aspect. Villains were simple, believable, and the arsenal was streamlined and practical, being what was available and not a sudden wide range of toys.

Granted, I was slightly disappointed about the under use and playing down of Scarecrow and Zsasz, but mainly because those are two of my favourites from the DC universe and comics in general, however, the sacrifice of those characters did aid in setting what degree of realism we were dealing with. Villains were everyday people, with similar limitations to normal people, and with personalities that were recognisable, and therefore allowed for a Batman closer to the people.

This could cause some concern when dealing with the Joker, who is pretty much established throughout continuity as the most extreme larger than life character, however the Joker in The Dark Knight skillfully avoided this. A lot of people will go on about Heath Ledgers performance, rightly so, and it is with good cause.

The Joker is portrayed in a way that I never really would have thought of seeing, he’s a darker character and yet that darkness comes from how normal, how average he is. He’s not really insane, not truly, but he is portrayed with degrees of slightly off tendencies. At times, he speaks timidly and neurotically, with traces of some sadness and weakness, whereas others he has an almost manic fire in him. There’s displays of stoic determination and the hooting, bouncing Joker of old. Joker acts not as some crazed lunatic, but as a force free from rules who spreads disorder because he can.

Thats not to say he isn’t evilly funny, because there are some extremely funny scenes involving Joker. The entire hospital part of the movie is testament to the portrayal, with a mix of laughter and edge throughout, interweaving in the character.

He’s a different Joker to what has gone before, but that’s good because he’s the Joker that fits with that Batman series, and that series is right for the audience. We aren’t talking the travesty of Bane here, where one of the most successful villains gets a treatment so bad it’s almost by Uwe Boll.

From the opening caper, the movie hooks you, and you get a feeling about what the character is like and how the rest of the film will feel. It has an intensity and a grittiness to it, a darkness that just flows through the entire experience and capitavates from scene to scene.

Tim and I were discussing it afterwards, and it suddenly became clear how easily Batman Begins and The Dark Knight could have so easily been made in to a season of a tv show each, with Begins as the first year where he’s starting out with Highlander-esque flashbacks, building up to the finale with Ra’s Al Ghul and Scarecrow over 13 episodes, and then with the spacing and level of plot in The Dark Knight, how easily the Jokers campaign and the life of a certain DA could be played out. There’s a lot going on, but never too much.

My only two gripes, which are very slight, was the ‘true human nature’ issue that seems to plague movies a little much - for those who have seen it, I mean the boats - would have actually been nicer with a larger, more devastating twist; the other is the suspensful build-up ‘buzz’ noise, used in a similar way to building up with incidental music, but anytime we had to feel danger, there was a growing buzz, to be honest it got overdone - I know when I’m supposed to be nervous, if I have to make out words over a buzz, I’m likely to get annoyed.

One thing I focused on too much? Ledger licking his lips after every sentence, that just seemed so perfectly right of a nervous affliction.

The movie rocked. Seriously.

My hope for the next is more of the natural-style psychopath. If it’s a Riddler, make him a twisted sicko but not an over-the-top prancer, just some guy who sends disturbing, threatening, vague clues to something like bombs or murder. If it’s Catwoman, make her naturally good at what she does. I’m still holding out for maybe a Mad Hatter, Cornealius Stirk or Deadshot cameo.

I pulled a Dark All-Knighter last night. What is a Dark All-Knighter? Well, that is where someone spurred on by the pure joy of seeing The Dark Knight before they’ve even watched it, books to have the day following viewing off work and intends not to sleep but to blow an entire night in furious activity.

Well, ok, I almost pulled a Dark All-Knighter last night, except I got a little bored and lonesome so slept for two hours, but I nearly pulled a Dark All-Knighter.

I also wasn’t furiously active, but I did get towards writing up some blog posts which I should hopefully get up today, maybe even before a few regulars wake.

Taking the day off also helps, because I’ve been missing people I care about and just to be able to spend a day, or at least a few extra minutes, is worth so much more.

So, I’ll be trying to churn out a few posts this long weekend. Definately expect something Batman related!

Oh, and yes, The Dark Knight is so much the kick ass movie.

The Full English Breakfast, or fry up, is one of those traditions in the UK that most people will be familiar with, from truck drivers in greasy spoon cafes to high-flying business people in swanky hotels, even little kids are bought up knowing about the hearty breakfast.

The majority of British hotels, restaurants, canteens and cafes usually offer a Full English on a breakfast menu, usually served up until 10.30 in the morning - unless offered as an All Day Breakfast - and these are mostly served either as a set menu with options or a served buffet.

So, I hear you ask - or at least Dan did - what goes in to a Full English?

Well, this is both an easy and hard question to answer, there isn’t really a definitive guide to the traditional fry up, but there are some common elements, for example they nearly always feature bacon and eggs, whether these be fried, scrambled or poached.

Accompanying pieces usually include toast or fried bread, sausages, black pudding, tomatoes (fried, grilled or tinned), mushrooms (fried, grilled or tinned; whole or sliced), baked beans, sautéd potatoes or hash browns, and a range of condiments (most commonly brown sauce or tomato ketchup).

For the longest time department stores and some supermarkets have served breakfasts in their cafes that usually work on the basis of serving to a set limit of items, and allowing the customer to choose. For example, our local BHS shop has a restaurant that allows you to choose a breakfast in four sizes 3 (childrens), 5, 8, and 10 items, all served with an extra piece of (usually burnt) toast.

Their list tends to offer:

Because I love the concept so much, I’m going to steal an opening in the style of Dio’s Random Lunacy blog. Those who have known me a while will be familiar with most of the names and personalities of these ‘aspects’ of mine. Those who don’t, too bad.

Guise Dugal: Hey, welcome ! Today, we’re coming to you from…
Dugal Dugal: Dammit! >.<
Guise: Hey, you mind…I’m in the middle of something here!
Dugal: Don’t really care. What I want to know is why the hell there’s a guy sat on the middle of the floor flailing about madly, who he is and why do I end up being the one who gets tripped up?!
Guise: Hm, which guy?
Dugal: Him! The one in white, swinging his arms around like a conspiracy-mad, schizophrenic, epileptic hobo on ecstasy. The…guy…right…there!
Guise: Ah, so…you met Wii-kun, huh?
Dugal: Who?!
Guise: Eh. He turned up at the start of the month, just sat in front of the tv staring longingly, even when it was turned off. Never moved, never said a word.
Dugal: Well, he’s moving now! He almost smacked me in the nuts! That isn’t cool, I was planning on using them some day!
Guise: Yeah, but that’s just because he’s playing with the Wii.
Dugal: Ok, but that’s no excuse to swing around like a electrocuted orangu…Wait?! Since when do we have a Wii?!
Guise: Um, last weekend? ^^;;
Dugal: Sunnova…why’d no-one tell me? I’d so own all your asses, pound you to blancmange! Strawberry blancmange, with real pieces of strawberry, which would in fact mean I’d have to get strawberries from the store before pounding commenced, and I’d have already got them if I’d been told…but no! I’d take your bodies and arrange them in poses, worshipping me like the god I am. You’d all wear dresses too, symbolic of…of being made to wear dresses! I’d win, I’d be victorious. The crowd would cheer my name!
Guise: Yeeeeah, I have no idea why no-one mentioned it. But, this guy, he kind of came with the deal.
Dugal: He some kind of freak?
Guise: No…well, maybe. He’s more an anthromorphic representation of the Wii, remember Dio’s Wii-tan?
Dugal, Guise: mmm ^///^
Dugal: So, why does he have a knobby tail?
Guise: It’s the nunchuk…
Dugal: It looks like a pin-cushion attached to curtain rope. You know, all he’s done is got the wii-mote buttons on his hoodie and the power button on his cap, and slipped a tail on. This guy sucks!
Guise: Well, he’s one of us now…
Dugal: But, he’s hogging it, and for a guy dressed as a damn wii-mote, he seriously has no skills whatsoever.
Guise: Why not tell *him* that, stop bitching at me?
Dugal: Fine!
…
…
…
Dugal: >.<;;;
Guise: That’s why they tell you to make sure no-one is stood near you. Ice pack?
Dugal: I hate you. I hate you all.

So, yeah. Last weekend, while out in town, Tim took me in to GAME and picked me up a Wii console as a present. I managed to snag it with Rayman Raving Rabbids 2, Sonic and the Secret Rings, Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess and NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams. I’ve also picked up Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

I’m still learning my way around it and learning the sensitivity of the controller, which was quite a steep learning curve. I haven’t really used a console much since the Playstation and N64, so it took some getting used to - I did learn that NiGHTS, although pretty, is probably not the best choice to try to come to terms with controls.

As far as the games go, I’ve yet to try Sonic and Rayman, but I’ve been enjoying the others so far.

NiGHTS

The first game I played on the Wii and I loved the cutscene animation from the start, everything looked so polished and fluid. Unfortunately, I’m not really that good at controlling NiGHTS and easily lose as soon as it hits the first Chase Mission.

Zelda

I love the animation and graphics and the gameplay so far has been very compelling. I loved playing as Wolf Link, not so much having to fish. The fighting actions aren’t bad, though as a button masher I just tend to shake wildly and hope it does something.

Currently, I’m at Forest Temple and frustrated because I’m not quick enough to use bombs before they explode on me.

Brawl

Mmmm.

Ok, I got Brawl on pre-order, which meant exclusive GAME sleeve and two game art postcards (Zelda and Peach), as soon as it was in my grubby little hands I whisked it home and loaded it up.

It’s a complete blast to play, even if most of the time I’m completely lost on what I’m doing or what is being done to me. As I said, I’m a button masher, though I try not to spam attacks. If anything, my approach to the whole game is similar to Dio’s approach to Smash Balls. I’m not very good at recovery, I haven’t quite got the hang of saving myself when being booted from the edge of a platform.

So far, I’ve had the most fun playing as Lucas, Pit, Diddy and Kirby. I know I’m nowhere near decent, but they are such fun characters. Pokemon Trainer/Zelda/Sheik all tend to have me cursing because I keep forgetting the Down & B move is the change command.

Subspace Emissary is very cool, especially the cutscenes. I love Pit’s opening, he’s so freaking pretty and as he drops from the sky, it’s just a beautiful scene. The only problem is remembering that you’ve changed character, even if you see it. The amount of times I’ve wondered why I couldn’t fire Pit’s arrow attack as Mario is embarrassing.

Brawl does have such amazingly hot characters too. I’m not ashamed to admit that Samus, Sheik, Pit and Pokemon Trainer (PT/Red) are totally hot, and that Ness and Lucas are super-adorable.

I don’t have a Wii, but I now have a pre-order for a copy Super Smash Bros. Brawl when it releases on the 27th.

The only downside, the 27th is not a Saturday, it’s a Friday.

I likely won’t be able to camp out overnight, my face pressed againt the window of GAME making clouds appear on the glass as I lustfully pant. I use ‘likely’, because there is still that option.

Yes, I do realise how stupid it is to have a pre-order for a game on a system you don’t yet own. I have my reasons, not all to do with madness.

It’s been a while folks and I can confirm, I’m not dead. I’ve just been remiss in my duties. Now some people may wonder just where I’ve been and what exciting adventures I’ve been up to, expecting tales of sun drenched beaches or fantastic hotels with crappy facilities, or talk about how much I dislike train journeys on certain networks.

No. See, I haven’t been anywhere or done much, I’ve just not been here.

It’s not that I haven’t done anything, it’s just everything I’ve done has been ‘one level removed’ of achieving, so I’m going to share what of late has caught my attention, what I haven’t done and how I almost did. Think of it as reviewing a movie you’ve never seen.

Where I Wasn’t: Writing Here
How I Almost Was: Writing Elsewhere

Obviously, I haven’t been here, but that isn’t to say I haven’t been writing. Recent inspiration has been a lot different and took my writing in a different approach. I’ve still let my brain spill words along nerve endings to flood to my fingers, but blogging kind of ran dry. I’ve been enjoying writing though, so all though I feel bad for being remiss here, I’ve had fun too.

No, the writing won’t be posted here. In fact, it should never see the light of day.

Where I Wasn’t: Playing DS/Wii
How I Almost Was: Surfing the ‘net

I’ve been on a slight Pokemon and Brawl kick recently, however, not having a Wii or a DS does make that a tad difficult - it should also be noted that the release date for Brawl in the UK is 27 June 2008. However, I have been frequenting sites like Bulbapedia Wiki, Smash Wiki, Smash Bros Dojo and YouTube for videos. Not forgetting Dio’s DeviantArt gallery for her Brawl diaries and art.

In conclusion, I have decided that Zelda and Samus are hotties, several male and female Pokemon trainers are filled with the smexy, Pit is too damn bishy for his own good, and Lucas and Ness are cool.

Where I Wasn’t: Watching Indiana Jones
How I Almost Was: Reading Dan’s Blog

The new Indy film was highly tempting to go see, however, there was just something that stopped me from wanting to see it at the cinema. To me, Indy will always be the type of movie I want to sit on the couch and watch, bouncing around and getting over-excited about.

However, this means I can’t review the movie, for which I am thankful that Dan gave his views and gave me faith that it is worthwhile seeing.

Where I Wasn’t: Fanime
How I Almost Was: Watching the forum; Stalking Flickr; Reading Dio’s Blog

I love conventions, especially conventions with cosplayers and gamers. I wasn’t there but I kept an eye on the event, and I hope to get out there for a future event. The thing you guys should worry about is that I’ve already identified, costed and begun collecting for cosplay components for at least two characters, and you may get subjected to viewing it - even if I can’t make it there, I’m gonna get costumes.

Dio gave a good review and I was very lucky to catch her over the weekend to chat about it, the event seems a lot of fun.

Where I Wasn’t: Working
How I Almost Was: Waiting

I’ve basically been told that pending references, a post is mine. Now comes the waiting. I heard from one of the people I listed to say they’d done it and gave a glowing report, so I have my fingers crossed.

Where I Wasn’t: Being the smexy
How I Almost Was: Being complimented

I’ve been told I’m ‘cute’, and further have allegedly become ‘cuter’ since I was last seen by someone. Some people need to either cut or up their medication, seriously.

I was talking to Dio today - as I am always very happy to be able to do - and the subject came up about pets, having derailed it from being nothing at all about animals to begin with (but then I’m not really known for staying consistently on subject).

As we talked about our past pets, I started to talk about the fish my brothers and I had as young boys. We had cats, a dog, rabbits and a budgie as kids, but we frequently used to have a rolling turnover of fish - primarily because the fish had a tendency to roll, turnover and float to the top of the tank.

I’d try and give my fish interesting names, like Cake or Finger, and my brothers would always name their fish Jaws, to the point of having five fish in a tank all named Jaws. It was at that point, as I told Dio, that I realised naming fish that are almost completely identical was a really useless idea.

Ok, if you have fish with markings or different colours, you can get away with it, but if you have no way of identifying the fish then it can’t really help. You may as well just blindly wave at the tank and say “Oh, the fish are called…” and ramble off some names whilst trying to avoid the question “Really, which is which?”. The only real answer to that is “Oh, just pick one. It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t come when called anyway…”

But fish are weirder than that, fish are also anti-social and xenophobic. For example, any time that our old cat, Outdoors, tried to reach in to the tank and give them a high five, they’d just shun and turn away. Maybe they were shy, but I get the feeling they were purposefully blocking the attempt at friendship to try and remain loners.

But, there was another issue that I wanted answering, something that had bugged me even after all these years: why goldfish, who are aquatic animals, choose to spontaneously leap out of tanks on to carpetted floors?

Now, my prevailing, optimistic theories had been that it was some sort of Steve McQueen-esque break to freedom, trying to jump the rim and bellyflop to the toilet so that they can make a way home, or that they keep trying to force evolution upon themselves?

But, no, Dio came up with the same answer that inhabited my shadowier thoughts, and likely the thoughts of some readers out there: i think its suicide

This is where we come to the true realisation about goldfish and their place in fish society in general. You see, the fish are anti-social and prone to suicidal thoughts. Fish are so emo.

Fish probably have MySpace pages where they use the blog to angst and tell about how they got kicked out of the little castle by the diver and how they think they are going to end it all with comments such as “there would be no red tide in the water, I’m going to reach for the stars”, “That mermaid thinks she’s all that, won’t go near me because I’m not some cool jock like that guy on the swim team by the little plastic bridge…I’ll show her, I’ll show her I’m hardcore!” and poems of “My pebble floor cuts me/I taste pain in my soul/It’s over for me/So alone in my bowl”. Their blog entries with titles like “Do you ever feel like you spend your life just going around in circles?” and “The bowl tastes of my tears”.

As Dio suggested: how can a fish know its crying if it lives in water, that sorta thing. To that, I believe that Emo fish know, their answer would be like “I’m salt water, not by my genes, but by the tears I shed for my tortured soul”, these creatures would describe themselves, not as goldfish, but as “fish, the colour of a burnt sunset against a clouded sky”.

It’s also not true that fish have a short memory, they don’t, it’s just most emo fish decide it’s not worth remembering anything because life is always ebbing away and instead just sigh and say: “whatever” v.v

So, that’s the truth about fish, and also the truth about why I’m probably the last person you should be chatting with in Google while studying.

Yes, I am proud that I managed to avoid using the title “Finding Emo” and being sucked in to that gag.

I’ve been antsing over another entry, so instead I’d take a cheap route out while I decide on it.

It isn’t quite MTV ‘Cribs’, but I was inspired by DJ D’s recent post of 3 Groovy things in his Room and a desire to do another vlog, so I’ve done just a little tour of the disaster area known as my room. The thing is, I’m the tidy, organised one between my brother and I, so the level of obstruction is shameful to me.

I’ve actually got the network cable to move my PC and funds for the bookcases, but I can’t do anything without floor space. I also hope to get a tv and gaming console in here at some point, just so I can kill time and chill a bit more.

I want to get some pictures and photos up, I’m kind of tempted to put some stylised photo-manipulated photos of friends and loved ones, because I love certain effects that you can get.

Still, it’s a good place to crash and quite a bit of space too, which is all you can really ask for in a room.

They say that great minds think alike, but what they fail to add is that lessor minds like mine may also pick up signals from greater minds.

For the last few days, an idea evolved in my head that originated from DJ D and Dan complementing me on this blog, which I wanted some way to actually point out that it is down to them and my other friends who read here - and, reader, this may well include you - that I continue to attempt to keep this thing alive.

My first thought was back to the days of GeoCities, where you’d find websites from ‘young people’ with highly contrasting neon colours for text and background, and such varying case use in writing that it was a form of capitals punishment. Always the young people would include a line acknowledging the existence of their friends.

The idea grew to a more detailed element when I saw the re-occuring meme floating around LiveJournal that you write things that you think of are like a person (for example, a song that reminds you of them; what movie they would be). This seemed a little off-track, and I’m not a great fan of relying on memes.

The thought of acknowledgement wouldn’t dwindle. Instead, it took a different path and after indirectly coming in to contact with a rather distinct group of students, I actually did manage a ’shout out’, which to my knowledge is forever kept secure from an audience. It wasn’t detailed, merely an acknowledgement of how I thought they were decent people.

This brings me to today, where I wake up early, and in between other thoughts I consider how I could stretch this and say the things I think of with regards to my regular visitors. It’s about four or fives hours before I was thinking of dragging myself out of my covers, so to fill time I went to other people’s blogs, and through Doho’s I ended up at VeggieMacabre (Bill from X-Entertainment’s community), I sometimes pop by there in ‘lurk mode’ because he’s a great writer and seems to be very well structured with his thoughts on many different topics.

Then I notice, days ago he’d done a ’shout out’ and now I wonder whether I’d ever have been able to be as well-spoken about it as he was. In fact, I sincerly doubt my eloquence on the matter!

So, because I still want to issue my thanks, I will say that I love you guys - you all mean a lot to me in many different ways - and hope you keep coming to see me here. I’ll also add that if you haven’t read his stuff, go have a glance at Bill’s blog, it’s an absolute joy to read.

So, there I was quietly sat in contemplation - what I was contemplating I can’t quite remember, though it was likely maudlin introspection or pining - when I felt a sudden force strike me across the back of the head, startling me to my senses. My hand held to the back of my head, I turned with wetted puppy-eyes towards my attacker, only to find a grinning Kittymao looking back at me.

“Tag,” she laughed, “you’re it!”

“But…but, what are we playing,” I whimpered, still checking for any drawn blood.

She sighed, frustrated at my ignorance and explained, “Look, The Pilver tagged me to do this meme thing, and now I’ve tagged you and you have to do it too. Here are the rules: 1) Link back to the person who tagged you. 2) Post the rules on your blog. 3) Write six things about yourself. 4) Tag six people at the end of your post by posting links to their blog sites. 5) Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their site. 6) And let your tagger know when your entry is up.”

“Six things,” I sighed as I watched Kittymao dart off in to the darkened hallways of the internet, “man, I hope they don’t expect six interesting things.”

Guise has been mistaken for a girl or a skinny young boy in three jobs based on his telephone and email writing, as well as used to get mistaken for a girl in person during a very podgy stage of his youth. This has actually led to comments by colleagues when I first meet them in person of “oh my god, you’re a guy?” and to some very interesting emails before they met me. I’m not quite sure how they managed to confuse me, other than I speak very quietly on the phone.

I’ll often go over and above for friends. I’m not a very social creature, in fact I’m more the type who will slink in to a corner and hope someone will notice, come over and talk so as to avoid the dreaded ‘mingling’. I don’t talk to people in person easily and as such, have very few face-to-face friends (the number, seriously, is weepable).

Quite often, I have to stop myself from thanking people just for talking to me, as if it is a major chore. I find myself doing it in instant messages at times.

However, I do tend to get very attached to the friends I have and can, sometimes, go a bit overboard for them. If someone asks for a favour, I’ll do my damnedest to complete it and try to add more if it’ll help. I go a bit over on gifts and presents, not to impress but because the idea that they’ll enjoy it makes me happy. I take a lot of pleasure more from making a friend or loved one happy than anything else.

Guise doesn’t take compliments very well. This is one that has led to me being shouted at a lot of times by people who were giving me credit mere moments before, in that I really don’t know how to take compliments. Criticism I can handle.

If someone says something good about my work, I’ll play down my role or try to sell the job as ‘nothing’. At the same time though, I don’t like being unrecognised for my involvement, I don’t want praise for things I do but just to be appreciated.

If someone says something good about me then I’ll tend to self-depreciate myself almost immediately.

Guise often wonders if he has missed out on life and if he’s past his use by date. This affects quite a few people, I realise, but there are times when I realise that the chance for me to do things with my life are slipping or have slipped away.

I have reached a point where it feels that the chances of starting a new life, start a family, moving away, gain skills and knowledge, etc. all seem to be things that are getting increasingly unlikely.

I am my own lie detector and sometimes give ‘false positive’ readings. This is something I have learnt from experience, that if I try to lie or wind people up, I give off quite telling clues. For one thing, if I’m pranking or winding someone up, I’ve been told I get a twinkle in my left eye (an eye I’ve had surgery on as a child) that tips people off, this was often the only way people in the office used to know whether I was leading them astray. I also blush a lot.

As for ‘false positives’, as a child whenever something had gone wrong and no-one took responsibility, I would always have a guilty look on my face, not because I’d done it, but at the thought I still might get told off for doing it. That guilty look still remains whenever there is a problem. I also can’t make eye contact with most people, even if I try I get the compulsion to look to the floor, I have to be very emotionally close to someone to meet their gaze - which is slightly amusing because eyes rate as one of my favourite physical features (though quite a way after necks, shoulders, collarbone…).

Guise actually hates himself. There are very few people that I would use the term hate for, the list is so far limited that I must really have a deep personal feeling towards it and it’ll usually be because of being wronged too many times or to a great degree. I actually have a great deal of self-loathing towards myself and would be one of the few people I actually do hate. I feel I’ve let myself down, physically, mentally, financially and relationship-wise.

Hm, tagging. Well, do I know six people who blog and haven’t done it already? I know, if you haven’t done it, consider yourself tagged and then tell me!

Never let it be said that I shy away from a challenge, I do, but it’s mean to say it. I shy away from a lot of things, but I’m always willing to make an attempt.

The other day, for example, I wore my pink shirt (that didn’t really look too pink in the picture), because I said to Dio that the next time I used my cam I’d wear the pink shirt in tribute to her blog layout. I’d actually intended to wear it the next time I did a vlog, but who knows how long that would be.

Just the other night, whilst in conversation, I made a comment about how one of her friends was made of pure win because of the Earthbound plushies she’d made. They wanted it in writing and Dio, who as we should all be familiar with, suggested some cute stationary would be appropriate. In fact, she suggest Playboy bunny stationary. Whether she meant this seriously, I’ll leave to debate.

“I am not a slut, though I thank the gods I am foul.” - William Shakespeare, As You Like It

Yes, I have pretty pink Playboy stationary in a small pad to send smiley letters. Isn’t in cute and quirky? I feel I should be writing with an abuse of capitalisation and colours already, and squealing a lot in high pitch.

So, yeah…smexy, cute and quirky!

Remember the Burger King posh burger from the twilight of last month? Sure, I talked about it in the post Wasted Money Or Food For Thought?

Well, I remember it and I remember saying at the time: they’ve even managed to ignore the outrage that spreads the UK from time to time whenever foie gras is mentioned.

I’m not sure if I should do a dance for knowing what I was talking about, or be humble and say I was wrong about ignorance and they are wise to controversies. I think I can go for the former, but humbly.

Burger King agrees to drop foie gras from £85 burger

LONDON - Burger King has pledged not to use foie gras in its £85 burger following lobbying from animal rights group Peta.

As exclusively revealed by Marketing, Burger King is planning to roll out what will be the UK’s most expensive burger. Foie gras, which is produced by force-feeding geese, was under consideration as an ingredient, but the fast-food chain said in a statement today that it will not be used.

A spokesman for the group said it had contacted ‘friends’ at the Burger King headquarters in the US to ensure that the UK plans were abandoned. Peta has worked with Burger King on animal welfare for eight years.

(Source: Burger King agrees to drop foie gras from £85 burger, BrandRepublic, 24 April 2008)

Now, I’m not particularly ethical about my food, to me if an animal didn’t want to be eaten in whatever manner we see fit, then it should evolve to taste like celery or gooseberries to help preserve it’s species from my tastebuds. Hell, if I’ll choose to eat venison at a Christmas meal, within ear shot of an annoying kid, and remark about Rudolph, ‘Donner kebabs’ and that scene in Bambi, to my fellow diners then I’m hardly going to give much of a damn about whether my food had a face.

That said, however, I’m not completely unsympathetic and do like it when something that is considered cruel is stopped.

The good side is that Burger King have taken a stance of compliance and conformity to what is becoming the prevailing stance on what counts as ’socially acceptable’ at this point in time.

The bad side? Unsurprisingly, PETA and Viva get a bit more air time. At least PETA UK seem a bit more down to Earth these days.

Rich Hall pointed out on television this one time how, despite his vast wealth, you never really see Bill Gates smile. See, billionaires who are happy and jovial are nearly always publicity hungry and constantly one with the crowd, Bill Gates is a grumpy sod because of a secret. Deep inside he’s had either childhood trauma, some freak accident or some underlying health condition. These have led him to focus his life on protecting others, using the technology he developed in secret that piggy-backs his business products, but never comercially released.

Either that or Bill Gates is just a miserable, antisocial, mop-haired man who doesn’t smile because those muscles died from extreme overuse the first time he saw his bank balance.

I saw Iron Man today, by the way.

No, actually the shirt is lightish-red. At least a very masculine and fertile salmon

It was the advanced screening all day at the local cinema, so Tim and I decided to hit the first showing at 11am. That was a really good call, because we got kick-ass seats (centre stage, but several rows elevated) that gave us a great view without any aching, and there were very few people there.

The film was freaking awesome for a superhero movie, and definately ranks as one of the better Marvel movies. Granted there were a lot of plot points that seemed to be lifted from Batman Begins, though understandably because both series have featured a lot of the same story types in their years. Don’t go in expecting a unique story, but go in anticipating a compelling one.

The movie was a great blend of action-adventure and moments of very good comedy, that actually got quite audible laughs from all around. The references to other factors of the Iron Man franchise or Marvel universe appeared fluidly, not shoe-horned in as a deliberate fanboy nod.

At the trailers beforehand, I was unconvinced about watching Robert Downey Jnr as Tony Stark, but the performance was top notch and captured the different stages that Stark had been through very convincngly and with great flair.

In fact, the casting was exceptionally good all around. I have never really been a solid Iron Man fan, I’ve caught the different cartoons and picked up a few comic books and crossovers, so I think that the basic foundation for an outsider to the series was very good. Granted, somewhere there may be voices of dissent from long term fans of the series, especially with the leaning more towards the style of The Ultimates, but as a jump-on point the characters work well. Hell, even the robotics and computers are exceptional characters.

The CG was very nicely done, great depths of texture and smoothness, and mixing in minor defects to the suits, as well as some of my favourite CG work on holograms and HUDs. As a whole visual effects were outstanding and gave a rush of excitement while also still managing to convince that it was somehow realistic. The level of detail given to the suit and, in a brilliantly put together piece, the process of donning the suit - from timed operations to move pieces in to place to the tightening and binding of parts - which although is a relatively small part, goes to show that a depth of thought has gone in to it.

Something that works in the movies favour is that there didn’t seem to be any slow grind or wasted time in the movie, which considering that it is just over two hours is a very convincing arguement for it’s storytelling value. This film is definately worth the ticket price.

One thing, stay until after the credits. I was out of the door but able to see, so I saw the scene but missed the dialogue. Fury, brief cameo, excellent choice.

Oh boy and gee wilikers, I just spent the afternoon seperating comics that I want to keep from comics that I want to part with. It’s quite a large amount, but not really enough to dent the collection too badly.

I haven’t actually sorted through what is amongst the parting crowd, but theres a pretty large selection of lessor comics and mainstream titles (I’ve got huge runs of Nick Fury and Ghost Rider amongst Justice, Grim Jack and DP7!).

So, the question is, is there anything anybody wants me to keep an eye out for whilst I sort through them to help a collection?

I’m still trying to decide what to do with the Tomb Raider, Witchblade, Harley Quinn, Power Pack, New Mutant and Generation X comics.

Limited time offer, which will end when I’m bothered to actually list stuff.