The Ramblings of Guise Dugal

I’m always asked for my opinion…Once!

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Evil Has A New Face…And It’s Furry

22 February, 2005 (13:44) | Genetic Engineering, Uncategorized, World Domination | By: Guise Dugal

After so wonderfully gave me a pictorial cooked breakfast after Spin failed to deliver (promise breaker!) we talked about the irrational fears bit, as Spin not only asked me yesterday but managed to torment Tink with visions of her fear. Well, if anyone gets to be evil and heartless I demand it be me!

    Me : and I wondered why he was asking me about irrational fears yesterday
    Tink : he’s cruel
    Me : indeed, you’d hate Weston…so many of those little rodent buggers
    Tink : we have a ton of them at home. Parentals have a property with quite a bit of land, lots of trees
    Tink : the one thing the dog doesn’t chase too
    Me : heh
    Me : well, it’s still better than me being ‘bothered’ by clowns, scarecrows, spiders and heights…
    Tink : I have thunderstorm and scorpion phobias too The Mummy returns? Can’t watch that bit where all those critters come running out the ground
    Tink : go insane
    Tink : clowns I can understand… and spiders, and heights… but scarecrows?
    Me : I lived in a village with a few fields with scarecrows, and my brother used to watch Wurzel Gummidge…
    Tink : ahhh
    Me : scarecrows that come alive on tv…and me surrounded by real scarecrows
    Tink : that would scare me too
    Me : I’m just lucky that I’ll never be trapped on a high ledge by a clown-spider hybrid made of straw and rags ::g::
    Tink : heeheeehee
    Tink : oh no
    Tink : I just had the mental image of a squirrel with a scorpion tail instead of that bushy thing
    Tink : that’s my nightmares sorted for the next month
    Me : heh, Frankenstein style…raised from the lab during thunder and lightning
    Tink : oh my god
    Me : don’t forget the pinchers for paws ::smirk::
    Tink : don’t mention any of this to scott he’ll bring it up constantly
    Me : oh don’t worry, this could be too much fun for me to share ::snigger::
    Tink : oh boy, that is not a nice image…
    Tink : scorpion-squirrel hybrid?
    Me : they strike during thunderstorms, first you hear the skitter of paws throw an air vent as they stalk through the metal corridors, each footstep is a skritching noise, and then they are illuminated above your bed with a flash of lightning, their arms extending as each pincher opens and closing. As the thunder crashes they leap, using the skin fold to glide down to your half-sleeping form. The next crash they lunge their tail, it’s tip diving into flesh…fear the Squirpion!!
    Tink :
    Tink : that’s EVIL
    Me : ::smirk::
    Me : no, evil would be if I now tried to photoshop a Squirpion
    Tink : The thought had already crossed my mind you would
    Me : ::g::
    Me : I’m just trying to find good source pictures
    Tink : Mentally, I had given you less than a week to produce this hybrid
    Tink : Scott going to be most upset you thought of this before him
    Tink : he’s taken great pleasure in torturing me
    Me : he’s just semi-evil…remember all the movies, it’s alwas the british guys that are the real bad guys
    Tink : ahh of course!
    Tink : oh, before I forget
    Tink : 8- Billy Joel… All about Soul? Or something like that…
    Me : indeed!
    Tink : housemates are wonderful things
    Me : ::g::

……….Some Time Later……….

    Me :

    Tink : oh my god
    Me : SQUIRPION!!
    Tink : I can’t believe you just sent that to me
    Tink : it looks almost like a pokemon…
    Tink : oh god, that tail
    Me : muhaha!
    Tink : that is so evil
    Me : you realise now, I’ll have to share it ::snigger::
    Tink : I still can’t believe you did that
    Tink : I’ve had to reduce the IM window so I can’t see it
    Me : I’m ashamed of myself and my evilness
    Tink : no you’re not
    Tink : you’re lovin it
    Me : hey, I can ashamed and amused at the same time! I can multi-task!
    Tink : rofl

I’m really sorry, but that was just the most inspiring mental image. Demonically evil mutant squirrel-scorpion hybrids!

I want to know what episodes of Pokemon Tink has been watching that it looks almost like a character. Still, “Squirpion, I choose you!”.

Oh, and I was discussing world domination with my brother, as you do, and I had an epiphany : I never want to be able to rule the world, not even with an iron fist.

Think about it, if you conquer the world there’s an awful lot of work afterwards that I don’t think most evil overlords appreciate, from setting taxes to land rights and animal grazing. Sure the tributes are great, but you can probably get more from ransom on an increased frequency with the madcap schemes. It’s a bit like Sim City, after a while it’s bound to get boring and you’ll just hand over responsibilty to someone else.

No, random attacks, inducing fear and fighting to take over the world is much better than actually succeeding in it.


17 Responses to “Evil Has A New Face…And It’s Furry”

  1. sattocs says:

    Sim City can never get boring. It is by far the greatest game ever made that has the word SIM in it.

  2. shadowed_guise says:

    The only reason I ever really enjoyed building up cities was so that I could save them and do things like plane crashes, fires, monster attacks and the like. Nothing like tearing a city to ruins!

    …oh, and bridges were neat too.

  3. sattocs says:

    I did that for awhile, then I read the book on how to play…yes I was real bored that day. But I read that entire book about how to play. Then I realized that I could make millions of dollars and actual do well. Until that stupid robot monster comes out of nowhere and tries to destroy your city. Then the missile silo that was built tries to help and instead knocks down half my city.

    It is a fun game up till that point though.

  4. bell_de_tink says:

    I liked Sim Life… simply for some of the sound effects. Ahh, they amused me… only for a very very brief portion of my life of course…

    However, Sim City only proved to me I would be awful at world domination. I have never had one city that was successful.

  5. sattocs says:

    I owned Sim Life. I never got it working. The install never worked. I even tried 3 or 4 computers…just never happened.

  6. bell_de_tink says:

    The “ooh la la!”s made that game. But apart from that, Sim City rocks. I’m just rubbish at being God. Oh well.

  7. shadowed_guise says:

    Oh, I have no problem playing God, I’m just a mean-spirited, selfish God who likes seeing his people suffer and rebuild. Populus always made me feel tingly.

    Was SimLife the one on the nature reserve where you discovered a parrot?

    SimTower was awful because you couldn’t start a towering inferno or break lifts yourself.

    Theme park was good, I liked to see how far people could walk to the toilets without throwing up or pissing themselves. Also, nothing better than the sight of someone flying off a rollercoaster. Job satisfaction indeed.

  8. bell_de_tink says:

    I think that one was SimIsle. SimLife is you have the whole WORLD. You can choose to plant plants, what animals to chuck on there and they have babies etc. Very funny sound effects. Not as enthralling as Sim City.

    Sim Tower I did ok at, but annoyed me when they all moved out at the weekend and made me broke. Stupid people.

  9. shadowed_guise says:

    Ah, SimIsle, yeah. Think I might have liked SimLife then.

    SimTower I just built housing for ages, and didn’t build hotels until much later. Having offices, restaurants and shops is great.

  10. sattocs says:

    Sim City – The city block thing
    Sim City 2000 – Greatest game ever
    Sim Isle – Building little lumber yards and warehouses with specialists
    Sim Life – Never got it working
    Sim Copter – Decent game with helicopter
    Streets of Sim City – Nice game where you drive through the cities
    Sim City 3000 – Never played it
    Sim something (Africa or something) – build a nature preserve with animals that you get to choose
    Sim Tower – I liked it. I just sucked at it. If I could find the CD I’d install it at work to pass the time.

    Those are the ones I know of.

  11. shadowed_guise says:

    There was SimAnt too wasn’t there?

    I originally played SimCity on the SNES and then Commodore Amiga, where I learnt the wonders of the Sim world.

    I really liked the video clips in SimCity 2000, but mainly because I saw ‘The Making Of…’ stuff and it amused me greatly.

    SimCity 3000 looks pretty, but isn’t too much added.

    SimTower looks very low budget, but is very addictive.

  12. bell_de_tink says:

    Yeah, I used to Rock at Sim Ant. Was probably the only Sim game I did any good at. I think my favourite Sim City was 2000, got the 3000 one, but didn’t enjoy it as much. Tho the nicer graphics were good.

    Ahh, the Sim games. Wasn’t there something like Sim Hospital as well? Or something similar…

  13. shadowed_guise says:

    There was Theme Hospital, which was like Theme Park, where people had like hairy feet or exploding heads. I used to rock at that one, still reckon the NHS would be better if they used those games!

  14. sattocs says:

    Sim Safari – that is what I was thinking of. You had some nature place and had to place huts and animals. The lions always seemed to eaet the larger animals though.

  15. shadowed_guise says:

    Yeah, I always wondered how common it was for a lion to hunt and kill a full grown elephant and leave nothing behind. Also, why do those lions never suffer from heart burn or anything?!

  16. sattocs says:

    You’ve obviously never eaten a living, raw elephant before. They serve as the same type of thing medically as Tums from your local pharmacy. I thought everyone knew that.

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