Cyclone Defender: Episode 05 - “Kunan Unten”
Essential Cybernetic Science Department, DugalCorp Headquarters
FC-D23: I hope you realise, organic, that your usurpment will not be forgotten.
Ryo: What a pity.
FC-D23: You might think that you are tough, but we are made of sturdier stuff.
FS1-D23-U3: Mainly composite materials.
Ryo: Ah-huh.
FC-D23: We are the great builders, the weaponsmiths…whereas you, you are a test pilot…a guinea pig…a…a…
FS1-D23-U1: Squidgy, fleshy crash test dummy?
FC-D23: Exactly! You should give me one reason, just one, why I shouldn’t just crush you and claim accidental control failure!
Ryo: One? How about…
Ryo: I know the codeword to trigger the brain-mines. I can literally blow your mind, you wont even be able to build a family hatchback when I’m done!
FS1-D23-U1: Gotta say, boss, that is a pretty good reason.
FC-D23: Yeah…yeah, he certainly got me. I think I need to go for an…oil change.
Moments later…
Ryo: So this is what all the fuss has been about, I’m rather disappointed. It looked a lot bigger in the schematics, but then sticking to measurements seems to be optional around these parts. The weapons leave a lot to be desired, it’s like some one scribbled a headless stickman and a shield. Oh well, better get the boss online. Hey, nice stereo.
Guise (B): Ah, Ryo! Tell me, how is my towering tyrant?
Ryo: I think it could overshadow vast nations, sir.
Guise (B): Excellent!
Ryo: Well, as long as the nations are members of the Lollipop Guild and live in bungalows…it’s a little on the, well, stumpy side.
Guise (B): But my weapons, they’ll cut a destructive swath through any opposition!
Ryo: Sure…
Ryo: …or, at least you’ll be well equipped if you have to cut ribbons or wrap birthday presents.
Guise (B): This is meant to be a dervish of a fighting machine, with weapons of awe-inspiring might. To crush opponents in my tyrannical iron fist!
Ryo: Ah, iron fist we’ve got that! Crushing, I’d like to run some tests on…but the staff have left.
Ryo: It does handle fairly well, it reminds me of a girl back at the academy when I was growing up.
Guise (B): Graceful and captivating?
Ryo: Constantly drunk and with legs that would fall open for any boy with cute hair. Ah, the number of times in my teens I rode in that coc…
Guise (B): Thank you, that’s quite enough of your sordid youth, Ryo.
Ryo: Interesting, I think maybe I’ve a screw loose…
Guise (B): Ryo, you’ve been trained by birth in my secret academy, through intellectual, physical, psychic and emotional regimes, you’ve had accelerated hormone treatment, co-ed facilities and dorms and free ‘net access since your emotional pre-teens. You’ve been trained in battle vehicle simulators, SAS methods and martial arts training. I don’t find it the least surprising or noteworthy that you are a deeply crazed individual.
Ryo: Well, actually, I meant there was a loose component on the floor and I wasn’t sure if it belonged to the mecha.
Guise (B): Loose components. Undersized war machines. Lack of vital weaponry. Ryo, someone has corrupted my experiment and when I find out who, they’ll be hell to pay!
Ryo: Hey, do you think maybe Santa just wanted to give you something to play wi…
Guise (B): Enough, I will have my vengeance! End transmission.
Ryo: Geez, so strung out. He should come with me later to chill with the post room, they always have the neatest Crayola sets.
Shuuhaijin Yuki: Ah. I must use speed and grace to my appointed errands from the upper management, bring honour to the Shuuhaijin clan and to my clan masters. It is my masters’ will that I complete my tasks dutifully, while we work our way up from mere messengers to the ranks of Chief Executives or Executors! Soon, our first stage will be complete. The mecha, with it’s sack carrying ability and letter openers of DOOM, will no doubt be up for relocation and our utilisation shall see effeciencies and promotion! The future belongs to the Shuuhaijin!
Shuuhaijin Yuki: But first, I better see if the Admin Pool needs any stationary requests to be filed…Muhahaha!
Comments
Comment from Guise Dugal
Time: Sunday 27 April 2008, 14:31
Unfortunately, I’ve only seen a little of Voltron as it was shown more during my brothers’ childhood than my own, so I’ve been catching up with odd episodes where I find them. In the lion Voltron, Pidge’s voice makes me want to apply a masonry drill to both ear drums.
My brother recently finished a major download of Gatchaman though, original Japanese with English subs. Heaven, not even a whiff of Sandy Frank.
Lego wise, I had pieces from all sorts of sets, from the standard City styles to the later themes, but it was always a question of what else could be made from them. Even now, whilst building the Cyclone Defender, I was thinking of what I could have made with two sets instead of one and a few scattered extra pieces. I still have the Striking Venom set, which is huge parts wise, but it’s too big when assembled - it’s where those minifig robots came from.
Batman is one of my favourite heroes, because he has no powers and is incredibly dark. It probably isn’t surprising that John Constantine is another. Batman has that incredible range of villains, gadgets and equipment that just makes him versatile and ever evolving. I’m not overly keen on collecting the comics, but I love how he gets represented in different media, in particular cartoons.
The Batman Lego sets are a little light at the moment, but still around - try Amazon for example. I’m sure if they keep the license then there will be more in time for Dark Knight.
Oh, and Jadzia Dax will always be my favourite, just because of seeing those spots run down her while she was in the swimsuit. Tasha, bah! But even Jadzia is no match for Female Imperials and Twi’lek Schoolgirls.
Comment from DJ D
Time: Monday 28 April 2008, 6:05
Cartoon Network started airing re-runs of Voltron not too long ago at like 5am or something and I used to catch them on the days that I can afford to stay up that late. I kind of got into it and even started recording them on the days that I had to be up early for work so I could watch them in the afternoon. I really liked it but seeing it through a pair of eyes that are 20 years older than they were when I first watched it I saw a lot of flaws in it. I’m fairly forgiving though, especially since Transformers suffered from the same kind of things especially in their first season (I own the 1st season and first half of the 2nd and am working on nabbing the rest of the series). If I can forgive the inconsistancies, bad animation, and other flaws in my beloved Transformers, I guess I can let some shit slide in Voltron. I agree with your opinion of Pidge though. If he could have died a quick violent death, we would have all been better off. One other thing I noticed too was that Peter Cullen (the voice of Optimus Prime) was all over Voltron–from the voice over in the opening sequence, to providing the voice of one of the secondary characters. I didn’t notice it back then, but I totally picked up on it recently. However, back in the day, I did always used to wonder why Starscream sounded exactly like Cobra Commander.
I’ve heard of Gatchaman and I know it’s supposed to be a big deal, but I know absolutely nothing about it. I’ve seen pictures from it and the main robot/mech/whatever it is in the pictures I’ve seen looks pretty cool. Any advice on where I can start? I’m not a big anime guy honestly, but the stuff I am interested in the most involves tech type stuff–usually anything to do with robots, androids, or mechs, and preferably the technologically driven stuff that’s presented a little more realistically. I like the futuristic stuff that looks kind of like Blade Runner and what not. I’m sure you know what I’m getting at. The stuff I’m attracted to may even be a sub-genre of anime that has it’s own name, but being that I don’t know that much about anime at all, I wouldn’t know. The type of anime that I don’t like and that just turns me off is the kiddie type stuff that looks really cartoonish–stuff like Dragonball Z and all that type of thing. That does nothing for me really.
As far as Batman goes, I’ve been pretty obsessed with him since I was a little kid. I’m a big comic book collector and have almost every issue of the main Batman series that’s come out in the past 13 years or so, and almost as many of Detective Comics. I used to have even more than that, but a few years ago I made the stupid decision to sell off most of my comic book collection and got rid of almost all my Batman stuff, so I’m still trying to collect all that back. Tim Burton’s first Batman movie to this day is still my favorite movie of all time and I can quote just about every word of it. It cemented Micheal Keaton as being my favorite all-time actor, actually. No kidding, he really is. Oh, thanks for the Amazon finds, btw. A couple of those were pretty cool.
I didn’t regret parting with most of what I sold and sold it for a reason, but I don’t know what I was thinking getting rid of the Batman issues. At least I didn’t sell all my Sandman trades. I agree with all you said about Batmans psychology, gadgets, and villains. I think the Joker might be the greatest villain of any hero of all time, or at least in the Top 5. The contrast between those two, when done well, makes for some damn good storytelling. I recommend Batman: The Killing Joke to anyone who just wants to read a great story, whether they care a thing about comics or not. As for Constantine, that’s one that I’ve always wanted to check out and just kind of put on the back burner. I’m sure I would really enjoy it, and plan on buying up the trades and diving into it before long.
Yeah, upon further thought, Tasha Yar was not the best example I could use. Dax was way hotter, and I’m with you on the spots thing. If I had to pick the hottest Star Trek babe off the top of my head, I would have to say it’s a tie between Seven Of Nine or T’Pol. Throw in those two, some Japanese Loli action, Princess Leigha in the slave girl bikini and a hot chick dressed up like Harley Quinn and you’ve got yourself a geek’s version of Heaven. I don’t think I could even handle it.
Comment from Guise Dugal
Time: Monday 28 April 2008, 12:50
For Gatchaman, I’d say start at the beginning, but for a taster: Part 1 of Episode 22.
The Killing Joke is a brilliant story and is a great interaction between Bats and Joker. I’ve a few favourites amongst the villains from the obvious Joker and Harley, to Scarecrow and Zsasz (even if Batman Begins did play them down, Zsasz was scary in the all-girls school in Knightfall). I like my villains loopier than a bowl of Cheerios.
Constantine-wise, I’d definately go for the earlier trades first, things like “Rake at the Gates of Hell” or “Damnations Flame” rather than the newer stuff.
Seven never really did anything for me, too super-modelly a look, but T’Pol was petite and cute, I just never watched the series. Princess Leia’s slave girl outfit, the outfit is missable, but the silken skin on shoulders, back, collarbone and belly…wow. As for Harley, seriously, the mini-series she had which included the all-villainesses slumber party and implied relationship with Ivy? Hooooh-boy!
Comment from Dio
Time: Monday 28 April 2008, 15:43
Harley and Ivy are the best non-lesbians ever. Take it from a girl who knows her stuff. ^.~
Killing Joke is amazing, and I agree that Joker is one of the best villains of all time. But, I have to say I really loved Mark Hamill’s version in the tv show (and Tim Curry’s which, unless I’m wrong, was only 2 eps of the whole series).
Loli-action? If only I could draw girls as well as people think I do, oh things I could show you. XD
I always liked Dr. Crusher. But then, I like older women (and younger men). XD And if we’re talking about hot moms, I’d like to say Dante and Vergil’s mom from DMC was totally smoking hot. That and Sue Storm. ^_____^
I’ve only read one Constantine book, and I don’t even remember the title. It had a little girl in it. I’m sooooo specific, I know. It was really good, and I can’t sheake the feeling that a tiny bit of Constantine went into Alestor when my bf reversioned him.
On another comic book tangant, I used to collect Sonic, until he hit issue 50 and I was really bored with it. Recently I heard Sonic was hitting on anything with legs (That whore XD), so I’m not too interested in it right now. The older issues were still aimed at kids and still had that fun, silly, Archie approach to it. On the other hand, they butchered my beloved NiGHTS in 6 issues, so its not like Archie’s immune to me torching the head office. I got rid of most of my Sonic stuff, but I kept the cute ones. Man, those were the days.
Comment from Guise Dugal
Time: Monday 28 April 2008, 18:13
Dio, in my new world order, you are to be torturer to male prisoners. What you shall be tasked with is stimulating them mentally with wonderful implied images and then dashing hopes apart, like bodies in a riptide. So, business as usual, Miss Winks-and-implies-about-things-she-could-show. XD
Mark Hamill’s Joker is the best sounding Joker ever, even when I read the comics I have that voice in my head, though slightly more sinister - a sort of Nicholson/Hamill mix.
The little girl could have been poor little (and dead) Astra, which if in a trade could have been Newcastle, Rake or Critical Mass. Though Critical I’m sure you’d remember because it had two Constantines and Aleister Crowley.
Sonic’ll do them all, be it Amy, Cream, Tails…heck, Rule 34.
Comment from dohopoki
Time: Monday 28 April 2008, 19:03
I’m going to read all of these episodes but I prefer to wait for the season PDF absorb it all in at once.
Comment from Guise Dugal
Time: Monday 28 April 2008, 19:49
Doho, funny you should mention that…I was contemplating moving them to a small section to maybe make it easier to read. Just a mix of being lazy and not knowing if it would help.
Comment from DJ D
Time: Sunday 27 April 2008, 9:58
I tell ya, I turn my back for a few days, nay, weeks and come back to….this! You sir have just about outdone yourself. I was gonna wait till Monday when I had a day off to sit and read/comment on this whole saga, but kind of got wrapped up in it tonight. I too share your love of all things mech, although I don’t know near as much about the genre. On the robot front, while I’m a big Transformers nut, I have a much bigger obsession with adroids and cyborgs. While visiting my family last weekend my cousin gave me 4 discs that contain the entire Voltron Vehicle Force series which he downloaded. He’s working on downloading the entire Robotech saga right now and said it would take a week or so to get it via bittorrents. I really can’t wait for that one. I remember not liking it when I was a kid, but learning to really appreciate it later in life. It’ll be cool to sit down and watch it all now cause it’ll be like seeing it for the first time with different eyes. I think I have a much better appreciation for it now.
I remember having a couple of fairly basic Lego sets as a kid and loving them to death. The one I played with the most contained pieces that were almost all red, and there were a million of them in all shapes and sizes. I think there were some black and white mixed in there too. I remember it also had a few plastic “guns” and wheels and things. There was no common theme or gimick behind it like most of them now. It wasn’t a pirate one or based on any licensed property or any of that. It was just a tone of bricks and assorted shapes and aside from a few rudamentary suggestions on the side of the box, it was up to you to come up with something to do with it. One of my favorite things to do was to try to see if I could use every single piece in the box to built a giant uber-tank. The shape was pretty usightly and had no symmetry to speak of it all, but the wheels were on the bottom and it rolled, so it technically qualified as some type of vehicle. The closest thing I can compare it to was when Chucky got stuck in the giant doll building machine at the end of Child’s Play 2 and came out with crushed legs and a bunch of random limbs grafted on to him all willy-nilly. I haven’t owned anything Lego related in nigh on 20 years now but I tell ya, they are way crazier than they were when I was a kid. I can’t believe all the stuff they have now. I’m tempted to go to Toys R Us or somewhere and see if I can find one that would fit my sensebilities. It would prolly have to be either related to Batman, something spooky, or Star Wars. Obviously, from what you’ve said, a Star Wars one wouldn’t be a problem to find, but I wonder if they have Batman sets out there. I’m looking to get a PS3 pretty soon and one of the first games I’m going to get is the Lego Batman one, not to mention the one based on The Dark Knight. I am to Batman what your average, greasy, Klingon speaking, Tasha Yar loving, parents’ basement dwelling Trekkie would be to Star Trek. It’s the one thing I nerd out about most in this life and I have no problem with that.