Eggs-traordinarily Sweet…
The Easter Bunny is well established as being a sweet, innocent character full of kindness and generosity. He’s primped and bowed, and on occassion dapper. He has a song in his heart and a good word to say, bringing light and joy to all those he meets. As well as chocolate, there are eggs that try to emulate that spirit in their contents.
Yes, just like the Easter Bunny there are eggs on the market that are sickeningly sweet. So, once more I delve in to the world of the Bunny in the name of SCIENCE!
The Creme Egg has been around for years, often advertised with some comedic front from Spitting Image’s “How Do You Eat Yours?” to Matt Lucas’s “I’ve Seen The Future…And It’s Egg Shaped”. Whereas the Creme Egg is only a seasonal item in the US, in the UK it’s available all the year round, though I’m not sure it has quite the same impact.
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I’ve mentioned previously about my love-hate relationship with Creme Egg, and it’s all down to that sugar content, I find the taste too sickly but at the same time I find it highly desirable. I’ll sit dreading the first bite of a Creme Egg, and then gnaw it down once I’ve started.
The most important thing about Creme Eggs are the many diffent ways people can eat them, from your generally munchers to slurpers.
I wish it didn’t look like I was giving both cunnilingus and fellatio to a confectionary when I was eating it out…um, eating it.
Taste: 3.5/5
Nausea: 3.5/5
Cadbury Dairy Milk with Caramel
I’m not overly fond of soft caramel, so trying the Dairy Milk with Caramel egg was a big task for me. I’m accustomed to the normal bar – which was better when it was just called Caramel in the canary yellow wrapper, not Dairy milk wih Caramel – so I just assumed that it would be the same, only egg-shaped.
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The caramel was very sweet, and had a lasting flavour that required several drinks to get out. Then, the nausea hit. Ugh.
Taste: 2/5
Nausea: 5/5
Mars Egg
Thanks to Taybear and DJ D, I can say that the Mars bar is the equivalent of the US Milky Way bar, which is nothing like the UK Milky Way bar. In the past the only Mars Egg that was available for Easter was a large, hollow Easter egg packaged with fun or regular-sized Mars Bars, but now the Mars Egg marries the two together.
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This was surprisingly scrummy, and I’m not usually a Mars bar fan.
Taste: 4/5
Nausea: 1.5/5
Galaxy Egg
Galaxy and Caramel, the chocolate I love with the filling I despise. In the past when I’ve had Galaxy Caramel bars, I’ve always been put off, Galaxy has a silky smooth, creamy texture where caramel is gooey and sugary. I fairly dreaded this egg, especially after the Dairy Milk with Caramel.
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The caramel inside was very different to that inside of the Cadbury egg though, this caramel had a very smooth chocolate taste throughout, and a slightly thicker consistency. It wasn’t as sickly sweet as the Cadbury caramel, though it still had a fairly long lingering taste.
Very surprisingly chocolately caramel!
Taste 4/5
Nausea: 2/5
Rolo Egg
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The egg shell was a bumpy, patterned affair with the Nestle logo on one side, partially obscured by goo. The shell was fairly thin, at least comparable to the other filled eggs, and when biting on it the shell seemed to split apart on it’s own accord. The toffee filling only seemed to occupy half the eggs, though this may have been down to leakage.
The toffee was a welcome break from the caramel, as it was not as abundantly sweet. It did manage to hold my teeth together for a while though.
Taste: 3/5
Nausea: 1.5/5
I can honestly say that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat another Creme Egg without hearing a porno soundtrack in my head. There are a lot of caramel eggs which we don’t have here. I have seen the Cadbury caramel eggs but none of the others. Ours are mostly just chocolate or egg variations of popular candy. Speaking of which, if you don’t call it candy what do you call it?
I’m back! After a few snafus, I was able to migrate (somewhat easily) to my new lappytop. Officially I must throw some hearty “fuck-yous” at the following companies:
Adobe: CS1 corrupted my ld laptop, and thus prevented a smooth migration
Autodesk: The stupid activaion codes failed me spectacularl TWICE, plus their offices are closed on the weekends, preventing me from getting closer to finishing my midterm that’s due Wednesday.
And now, onto eggy matters: you have no idea how much I wanted caramel after reading this. Here’s a visual idea: I went to my fridge, took out the jar of caramel topping for ice cream sundaes and proceeded to kill off most of what was left, which was about 1/3 of the jar. When I got the cadbury eggs, I was sucking out that fondant like it was elixer from the fountain of youth. You ma now insert your childish, sexual innuendos now. XD
Good to see you guys, btw. I didn’t think I could last 2 days without checking this blog….
You know I really want to make a sexual innuendo here for you Dio but I’ll leave that to Guise. I’ll just settle for saying welcome back, I was wondering what happened to you.
Creme Eggs will (from this point forward) make me feel dirty. Although I must commend you on your thoroughness, Guise. It’s important to make your egg eating as much about the egg as it is you. You are an unselfish egg sucker, sir. They’ll be lined up outside your door Easter morn’ once word gets out that a man of your talent (and unafraid of spicy costume) has hit the scene, lookin’ for a sweet egg to devour. Oh yeah…
Welcome back to the land of the living (or lack thereof) Dio!!! I too will allow Guise the pleasure of filling the first childish innuendo (in you end-o??).
Happy St Patty’s day!!! Man I wish I could drink at work…
Guise, you have stirred up feelings inside of me heretofore taboo and unexplored. I’m going to have to take a long look at my life now. The vision of you doing…….that…to that poor egg, coupled with the costume and your actual Guisey voice, on top of a porno soundtrack has made me doubt everything I thought I knew about myself. I just don’t know if I can view Cadbury Eggs or the Easter Bunny in the same light again. What’s next? Pony play with Santa Clause? Watersports with the Tooth Fairy? My eyes have been opened to a world previously unknown to me–a world of disturbing, dribbling, creamy fillings (feelings?), and perversions both lepus and lurid. And to think, it took the twisted mind of a quirky, spectacled, British man to put me in such a state and send me to this newfound cottain-tailed hell.
That being said, the Mars egg looks absolutely fantastic. I wish we had that over here. Did I read that correctly though? Are you saying there’s actually a large chocolate egg available that contains Mars bars? Are we talking about candy bars INSIDE of a giant chocolate egg??? Is there a Snickers version of this thing? And if so, where can I get my hands on one?
Dan, candy = sweets. I have to make a mental note frequently when writing to use the term ‘candy’. All for you guys, I’m changing my words all for you. I’ve also got some filled eggs and miniature eggs to still do before the Sacrifice of the Cottonbum Day (and indeed Zombie Jesus Day) are upon us, but I really wanted to get the very sugary ones out the way first.
FM, indeed, Happy St Patricks day. Buy a quart of green food dye and run wild. Hm, green food dye+creme egg…naaaaah.
And yes, it’s very important, even if you aren’t completely happy with the taste at first, to give a thorough and satisifying job, and to make sure that you give it your best without expecting too much satisfaction in return. Of course, if you do like the taste, it can be hard not to bury yourself too deep in your work.
Wait…we’re still talking about eggs, right?
DJ D, the egg was asking for it, coming here dressed like that…what else was a Guise to do?
Funny thing about watersports, when we had a new senior manager while I was working as web admin, I had to publish her bio, among her interests was listed “watersports”. So, I took the time to make sure just the right managers who would be in meetings with her saw the interests and would make the worst mental connection.
Seriously, the Mars Egg was bloody fantastic. I’ll actually miss it if they decide it’s an Easter-only deal.
The Mars easter egg, is usually just a standard egg, but comes packed with from two to six mars bars, and they do it for Snickers, Crunchies, Kit Kat, damn near anything. Ta-da.
Dio, I was wondering where you went to. Did you still get to see the Kimmy guy lecture? XD
Mm, caramel topping is usually much better than caramel filling in terms of sugariness, though I tend not to have it much as I’d always be consuming ice cream!
I’m shocked that you’d think that I’d make some sort of immature remark about you and eating sweet items. Like I’d say anything perverse about you squeezing out thick, glucose-filled goo into your mouth, letting it coat your tongue in a thick squirt and then drizzle down your throat…or lapping up thick white, sticky ooze with your tongue, letting the sugary taste slide of your taste buds and the hit the back of your mouth in a thickened stream of sweet slime. (Bow chikka wow-wow) Just what kind of guy do you take me for?!
Ok, fine, childish innuendo, seeing as everyone seems to expect it for some unknown reason. ^^;;
I’d be willing to share my Creme Eggs with you anytime, Dio. (Alternative: Maybe we should eat together sometime, Dio.)
lol, god I missed this. ^^ Last week, I shoved a spoon of yogurt parfait into a friend’s mouth, and he replied “I just got bukkake’d by a parfait”. If I have to explain “bukkake” to someone, I think I’d feel dirtier than when I was eating chocolate eggs.
Caramel is best, next to girls, video games, and the occasional backrub.
Dio, I have explained bukkake to someone before, after making a similar comment about being splashed with food. Though, I have to say Buck Cake Wins. XD
Though, I have to correct you…caramel is best on girls who play video games and enjoy the occassional backrub. ^^;;;
Well, why take one hand over the other, when you can put them together? XD
“I just got bukkake’d by a parfait”…….Oh my god, I just literally cracked up and laughed out loud. That was classic. This is why I come here. Wait, let me rephrase that.
Hot girls who like video games and backrubs? Yum!
Guise, Ok, I think that clears that up. I thought you meant that the chocolate was really big and once you ate your way into it, you would fine candy bars waiting for you inside. I was thinking it was a sweet treat, that after you coax out of it’s wrapper, you could penetrate, finding more sweet treasures deep inside. If you wait long enough, and you reach in there with your fingers, feel around, you can find just the right spot and more pleasure than you thought was possible in such an unassuming package.
I mean, what was that Cadbury’s thinking, showing up here in that tight, form fitting wrapper? All brightly colored, practically advertising what was inside, just begging for you to rip the wrapper off and take advantage of it. I mean, the corner of the wrapper was peeled away, exposing some of the chocolate to the whole world. How could you resist?
DJ D, there are eggs out that are seriously freaking huge that can fit Mars bars in. Hell, I saw one today you could fit a decent sized camcorder inside.
Oh, and…I had plans for my entry today, but those plans were slightly scuppered by market forces. I will still be able to do the entry I’ve planned for over a week, which should also be answering the question you posed earlier though. Muahahaha!
Warning: Post may be offensive, in fact will likely be offensive. Similar vein to Wonka/Botts.
Oh Holy God.
Are you talking about chocolate/candy eggs that big? O_O I want some….
It’s about a 550g Chocolate Egg. My best estimate based on sight would be that it’s about as big as a football (American, not soccer). Plus, it came with additional chocolate (there was one with Mini Eggs and one with Creme Eggs).
Not exactly the best pictures for comparison, but check out weights.
[...] on thumbnail to see full size imageSo, I reviewed the full size Mars Egg the other day and decreed it to kick ass in a very big way, whatever could I expect from a mini [...]