The Ramblings of Guise Dugal

There had to be a ‘villain’ post today, I couldn’t just post about Loli and Fast Food. I needed to cover another arch-villain in the UK, and I chose Darth Vader! No, not the British giant David Prowse from down in Devon, but more a Welsh imitator.

There is so much to this story, it’s hard to know not whether to laugh, but at which point.

Drunk Darth Vader’s Jedi assault

A man posing as Darth Vader attacked a Star Wars fan, who had founded a Jedi Church, a court has heard.

Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, from Holyhead, Anglesey, admitted assaulting Barney Jones and cousin Michael with a metal crutch. They suffered minor injuries.

Hughes, who was drunk and dressed in a black bin bag, shouted “Darth Vader!”

Earlier, when Hughes failed to arrive on time, District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant, adding: “I hope the force will soon be with him.”

In the event, Hughes turned up and the case at Holyhead magistrates court resumed.

The court heard he had jumped over a garden wall wearing the bin bag before the attack.

Outlining the case againt Hughes, prosectutor Nia Lloyd said Barney Jones had recently started the Jedi church in Holyhead – in honour of the Star Wars’ good knights. It had about 30 members locally and “thousands worldwide”.

The cousins had been filming themselves playing with light sabres in the garden before the attack.

Hughes admitted two charges of common assault.

The court heard he has a “chronic alcohol problem” and had drunk the best part of a 10 litre box of wine.

Mrs Lloyd said: “He was wearing a black bin bag and a cape and had a metal crutch in his hand.”

Mrs Lloyd said he was shouting “Darth Vader”.

She added that Hughes hit Barney Jones over the head with the crutch, leaving him with a headache.

He then laughed and hit Michael Jones in the thigh, causing bruising.

Both men were left upset by the incident and they believed it was pre-planned.

She added that the pair believe “very strongly in the church and their religion”.

Hughes could not remember the incident and only realised what had happened when he read about it in local newspapers, the court told.

Defending, Frances Jones said alcohol was “ruining his life” and he had no idea where he got the crutch from.

The court head Hughes had previous convictions, including affray, assault and disorderly behaviour.

The judge warned Hughes that jail remained a possibility before adjourning for pre-sentence reports until 13 May.

(Source: Drunk Darth Vader’s Jedi assault, BBC, 22 April 2008)

Earlier in the year, the BBC had run an article on this Jedi church, which really sounded like a fanboy wet dream and included what I can’t read without the completly wrong image of Comic Book Guy in my head: Although the current members are all men, women are not excluded, as Barney Jones points out: “Princess Leia helped them out a lot.” (Source: Force strong for new church)

The idea of Jedi teachings sounds alright, as much as any other belief, when taken out of context, but to actually base it strongly on the movies I just find slightly humourous.

Not as much as the mental image of a grown man in a Darth Vader mask and bin bag screaming “Darth Vader” and leaving victorious after inflicting a headache and minor bruise. I’m surprised no wedgies were involved.

I’m a geek at heart, I think that’s pretty much a given, but there’s always some geeks that make you feel much more normal.