The Ramblings of Guise Dugal

Throughout their life an Easter Bunny faces many changes to their size and appearance, going through a form of metamorphisis from tiny chocolate figure to anthromorphic representation of the Great Bunny. During all the stages, they remain a treat to taste and a glory to behold. In the name of SCIENCE and better understanding, and through the glory of internet searching, I have been able to produce an illustrated guide to the stages of Easter Bunny life.

The stages are not based overly on age, more a level of maturity and desire to develop, some bunnies prefer to remain in certain stages for lengthened periods by choice.

It should be noted that both genders of Easter Bunny are able to produce and lay eggs, the method is a prized secret and not often discussed outside of bunnidom.

New Born Bunnies

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Once bunnies hatch from the Easter eggs they are very susceptible to predators, most dangerous of which is the Human child. At this stage the bunnies are barely aware of their surroundings or their heritage, and will hop freely around without a care. Bunnies at this stage of development bear similarities to normal rabbits, only they are made of chocolate and much smaller.New born bunnies are not capable of laying eggs and do not have the desire to procreate.

Four-Footed Stage

Click for full size imageThe four footed stage takes place after hatching and while the Easter Bunny remains in traditional rabbit form, their size can greatly increase to exceed those of even a giant pet rabbit, and several anthromorphic traits (such as smiles, eye shape and fashion sense) may develop. It is not unusual for Easter Bunnies in the four footed stage to lay eggs, however these will mostly be miniscule in size and consist almost entirely of plain chocolate.

The Two Footed Stage

Bunnies in the two-footed stage have begun to take a more anthromorphic state, often hopping or prancing about on their hindlegs whilst using their front paws to perform manual dexterous tasks, such as carry baskets or tying ribbons. Bunnies in this stage will begin to care more for their appearance, adopting Human-like apparrel. Two-footed bunnies often act child-like, seeming to be of a cute playful character. Eggs laid during this stage tend to be slightly larger, and because of their increasing closeness to the Great Bunny, will sometimes be brightly decorated.

From this stage, all Easter Bunnies are expected to help in the scattering of Easter Eggs throughout the world.

The Developing Bunny

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Sometimes known as the Bunnygirl or Bunnyboy, the developing bunny is slowly going through stages of metamorphisis to take a more human-like appearance. They will typically go through stages of development akin to the growth cycle of a human, but at varying rates and with the ability to control pausing of development – though not reversal. As the bunny develops, it is not uncommon for the main body fur to decrease or disappear, leaving only the cottontail and ears, and at the same time facial features will appear more human-like and paws may develop in to hands and feet.The developing bunny is the most aware of their appearance and sensuality, they will often try to emulate desirable fashions and looks held by Humans. As they become more self-aware, they also begin increased sexual experimentation and egg-laying. An Easter Bunny may have several dozen partners in a given season and lay multiple hundred eggs, these eggs gain flavour and extras through the mixing of partners and new eggs are created inside the bunny for every passionate encounter – even self-passion.

A recent advent to bunnidom has been the creation of devices to assist in experimentation without procreation. Although this is generally frowned on by the more senior Easter Bunnies, advocates for the method say that it allows for the better mixing of flavours without unwanted examples. A common side effect is that eggs that are created by the encounter, although remaining miniature, can often be flavoured and recieve scaled extras similar to the standard eggs.

Virginal Easter Bunnies will continue to lay miniature eggs or larger, hollow eggs. Eggs bought about by means of self-passion with devices can often contain small plastic toys or playful statuettes. The developing bunny is able to lay eggs that will hatch in to a future generation of Easter Bunny.

The Avatar Bunny

Click for full size imageAs an Easter Bunny reaches the end of their life cycle they tend to regress in appearance, remaining a humanoid size and shape but returning to the features of a rabbit. Their body fur will generally grow back over their body, but usually in a snowy white coat.

During this stage, the Easter Bunny will often not procreate outside of Bunnidum. Put bluntly, encounters with non-Bunnies will often end with an external moneyshot. As a result the Avatar Bunny’s eggs are usually hollow and accompanied with a seperate gift of a lover. The Avatar Bunny is mainly responsible for laying eggs which will hatch future Easter Bunnies and to teach younger bunnies about their faith, cultural and interpersonal relations.

On a final note, for Easter I got a Maltesers Easter Egg (large egg with bag of Maltesers), a 5 pack of Fun Galore, a bag of Galaxy Eggs, a bag of Lindt Lindor Eggs, a pack of two small Lindt bunnies with two Lindt mini eggs, and a Large Lindt Golden Bunny.

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Tags: Easter 2008