The Ramblings of Guise Dugal

“Amy, any news?” Will asked as he and Guise enterred the room. Amy stood hunched over a tabletop LCD display of the world, a stylus between her fingers as she poked the display zooming in to areas around the globe.

“Some,” Amy sighed, shaking head “but not enough. His disappearance doesn’t seem to be linked to any goings on and we’ve detected no messages concerning ransom or imprisonment, we’ve reached pretty much a dead end on our search for him.”

Will nodded; a downcast, concerned look on his face. “Guess the rescue comittee can be standing down for the while, or least rejoin the efforts to watch over our other friends.”

“It’s just not like him to disappear and then leave a trail of insane, rambling clues in his wake for nothing.”

“Amy,” Guise said quietly, a smirk played at the corner of his lips, “It’s Doho, what about this isn’t just him?”

Amy pointed the stylus like a dart as she prepared to counter the englishman, then sagged her shoulders and let a grin take over. “We’ll find Anja,” Amy grinned, “then we’ll start a rota on people who get to slap him.”

“I’ll start taking requests for timeslots,” Guise replied, he held out a hand and beckoned, “break time, the search can wait a few minutes.”

As Amy passed, Will clamped her on the shoulder and lead her out with a smile, as Guise flicked on the bouncing bunny screensaver and dimmed the lights. No sooner were they in to the corridor when a klaxon resounded around them, red lights flashing. Guise tapped his comwatch, “Guise to Anyone, sitrep?”

“Guise,” a familiar voice crackled back, “Deej here, got an unconfirmed entry in access point of Pod 6, cameras went offline. I’m on way, FM and Macabre are nearby, but not sure what is coming through. Drones are currently crashing offline, whatever it is, it’s very big and very powerful!”

Will had already unsheathed his Cutlass Chainsword and switched on his cyber-enhanced targetting eyepatch, whilst Amy was toting twin pistols that had managed to stay secluded somewhere somehow. “Shall we,” Will asked, his face barely masking the excitement for a good fight.

T.H.R.E.A.D
Floor Five – Habitational Level, Pod Six

“Souls of the damned hear my beckoning, your master calls you,” Veggie Macabre stood amongst a hopping army of zucchini’s, their pointed teeth gnashing in the direction of the thick steel doors. The spirit of the great voodoo priest and part-time vegan chef, Baron Saladi, empowered the figure, making him his avatar on the mortal realm. “A leaders call goes out, possess and compell, your form awaits.”

Macabre tossed the iceberg lettuce he was holding into the air, in an instant it exploded in a thick cloud of green smoke. As the smoke parted it revealed a finger, completely green and leafy, his very features defined by the salad vegetable he had been born from. “Ah, my Lettuce Lich,” Macabre sneered, his eyes glowing a bright vermillion tint, “do my bidding, and lead the Swarm of Satan’s Salad beyond and face our intruder.”

On the far side of the room, Fungus Mungus gripped hold of the emergency release lever. One hand rested on the mushroom shaped grenades hanging from his belt. “Get ready,” FM shouted, he pulled one grenade free as the lever descended. The great door creaked to life and slowly parted.

“Now!” FM yelled, he tossed the smoking grenade into the chamber beyond, causing a tremondous flash. “Blinding Toadstool Spores!”

T.H.R.E.A.D
Floor Five – Habitational Level, Central Hub

“Deej!” Guise shouted as he, Amy and Will rounded the corner. DJ D himself was running through the corridors, but slowed as he heard his name from behind.

“Cool, you made it!” Deej nodded satisfied. As he waited for the three to catch up he adjust his mic-and-earphone headset and sorted his band shirt in to a more unkempt appearance. “Thought only me and the Banshee were going to get to help out.”

DJ D lifted his hefty weapon from off his back; a sturdy, bulky cannon like device that would make Rob Liefield want to use the term ‘overkill’. Lights flickered across the weapon, dozens of dials and switches gleamed. The muzzle of the weapon ended in a matte black stereo speaker that seemed to hum with energy.

“We just got stuck trying to get past evacuating Pod Sixers,” Amy muttered, “They just wouldn’t let us get our job done.”

“Pod Six are jerks,” Guise nodded, he clenched his fists, “We good to go?”

“Let’s rock!” DJ D said, and the four set off again.

T.H.R.E.A.D
Floor Five – Habitational Level, Pod Six

The spray of tossed salad blew in like a blizzard, thick chucks of zucchini and lettuce leaf coating the floor. The Radish Revenants had been repelled early, the carrot corpse corps had been diced and even the Cherry Tomato Kamikaze attack had been squashed. Macabre’s face had gone from it’s usual tinge, to a bright beetroot of frustration.

FM went to reach for another grenade, but found only pins on his belt, and by the sounds of the ever approaching battle, even his Mushroom Minefield had been overcome. “We’re almost out of drones,” FM shouted, his voice carrying over the ever increasing sound of blasts and strange crackling.

“They, it…is upon us,” Macabre shouted back, he attempted once more to raise forms from the wasted vegetation around his feet, but the crisp salad only swirled; at best, he reckoned he could forge a forcefield of vegetables to buy time for them to retreat until support arrived.

“Take position,” Will shouted from behind Macabre and Mungus, as he charged in to the room with DJ D, Amy and Guise. The newcomers spread out, Will and Guise crouching ahead of the group on either side of the doors ready to charge for melee, while Amy ran over to FMs position to aim for cover fire. DJ D set his weapon to charge, the muzzle hum growing louder, he dwiddled the dials and then pulled out a small white rectangular object, gliding his thumb against it.

“How about something festive,” DJ shouted, “Twisted Sister’s Oh Come All Ye?”

A sudden electronic scream filled the air and one of the robotic guard drones flew through the open door, it’s body covered in flames. A brightly coloured bird-like shape, no larger than a bald eagle but made of vibrant energy, tore through the gap and impacted with robot, blowing it to sparks and shrapnel.

“Wavebird?” Guise whispered to himself, a dawning realisation.

“Sweetie, I’ve got these,” a young female voice called through the smoke, “Make for the door!”

“Dio?” Guise’s eyes opened wide, he heard the whine from DJ D’s weapon. “Deej, wait!”

A young boy flew through the door and crashed in to the floor, rolling across the smooth surface. The boy had a sweet freshness to his face that radiated an aura of innocence around his whole being. His mop of blonde hair wisped up at the front, and he looked up at DJ D’s muzzle with doe eyes. The boy gave a small squeak and his lip trembled nervously.

His finger on the trigger, DJ D held back on squeezing, merely staring at the boy through the highly calibrated sights. His attention quickly shifted as a heavy clang came from beyond the doorway. Dio stepped through the haze, two white ‘chuks in her hands.

Two small boys walked behind Dio, they looked almost identical but small indications seperated them enough. Both wore identical yellow and blue striped t-shirts and red caps with blue peaks, though at different angles. Both carried a baseball ball, resting on a shoulder. One of the boys wore a bandana, marking the only real difference in wardrobe.

“You just abducting kids everywhere, Dio?” Guise asked, getting up from his crouch.

“Someone has to, they weren’t going to just abduct themselves,” Dio responded with a smile towards the englishman, a playful twinkle in her eyes.

T.H.R.E.A.D
Floor Three – “Mista Snowman’s Sundaes” Ice Cream and Milkshake Parlour

As the three young boys – who Dio had logged in to the system as Lucas (the blonde), Ness and Ninten (the bandana) – worked their way through assorted free ice cream sundaes, Dio sat with the small group of some of her fellow Advent-urers as they took a brief break. As the group brought her up to date on the current mysteries surrounding the Grande Mansion and the messages believed to have been released from Hssxxlllo, she filled them in on her recent exploits.

“So, where’s Lex?” Guise asked, taking another sip of his heated soymilk and gingerbread syrup.

“Last I saw he was chasing this blonde woman,” Dio sighed, shaking her head, “she was wearing an aqua coloured jumpsuit, and he just followed her legs, drooling like a puppy.”

“Boy likes his legs,” Guise grinned.

“And butt, going from how tight that jumpsuit was,” Dio seconded, grinning in to her glass.

“Which you obviously noticed,” DJ D laughed, earning him a grin from Guise and a wicked smirk from Dio.

“Well, if Lex gets the hint that this Sammy chick isn’t interested,” Dio grinned, “he’ll be back after about the fifteenth slap.”

“What if she is interested?” Guise asked.