The Ramblings of Guise Dugal

It’s coming up to Easter and as is traditional thoughts are turning to fish suppers on Good Friday, mine certainly is because I’m going to see Ed Byrne perform his comedy gig in the local theatre and it’s a tradition that my brother and I have to always hit the chippy afterwards – yes, I will put the tradition for fish and chips after comedy above fish for a religious observation. I’m a heretic, but one who follows the rules at the same time. I’m so complex.

But as I munch on my cod and chips, because that will be the type on offer, another fish is trying to get itself back on the market. Like a lot of people who try to find someone to nibble on them hungrily and devour them with feverish enjoyment, the fish in question has tried to change it’s image to become more attractive.

It isn’t a case of buying new cologne, in fact it still smells the same, and although it has changed its packaging to a more artful and stylish wardrobe, it hasn’t really changed that much of it’s look. No, instead it’s changed its name to something that people don’t mind saying out loud. But then, if your name was Pollack, you probably would too.

Pollack rebranded as Colin by Sainbury’s

Supermarket giant Sainsbury’s has re-named a type of fish Colin because customers are too embarrassed to ask for pollack.

The chain is promoting the seafood in the run up to Easter, as it tastes similar to cod and is more sustainable.

Ten stores will stock pollack in limited edition packaging designed by Red or Dead founder Wayne Hemingway, and inspired by artist Jackson Pollock.

But instead of the English name, it will be called Colin – the French word for hake, another member of the cod family.

Pollack is far more popular across the channel.

Mr Hemingway said: “As a keen fisherman it seems daft that pollack isn’t more popular, particularly when it’s readily available off our own coast, tastes great and is cheaper than cod.

“Image really is everything; so to help Colin stand out on-shelf we’ve used bold, bright colours and a design that is cheekily inspired by another well-known pollack (artist Jackson Pollock).”

Sainsbury’s said pollack is priced at £9.90 per kilo, while cod costs £11.49 at its stores.

Sales of cod increase by nearly a third during Easter weekend, a supermarket spokeswoman said and in March outstripped sales of pollack by 52,904 to 3,947.

Haddock was even more popular than cod with 98,722 units sold.

The specially designed packets will be stocked in 10 branches in the following locations: Islington, north London; Shrewsbury, Shropshire; Hove, Sussex; Hull, East Yorkshire; Maypole, East Midlands, Winterstoke Road, Bristol; Coldhams Lane, Cambridgeshire; Pound Lane, Norfolk; Archer Road, Sheffield; Marsh Mill, Plymouth.

(Source: Pollack rebranded as Colin by Sainbury’s, 06 April 2008, The Guardian)

This wouldn’t normally be something I’d care about, other than the amusing notion of changing a name of something basic to make it more appealing, but there was just something about the story that won me over: the ability to turn it so simply into innuendo.

Point to prove was on Facebook where the following took place after I posted a status on the topic. Name slightly changed to protect, because I never asked permission to copy (and mine because I can).

Facebook status: Guise hears that Colin tastes like cod, thats the load of pollacks Sainsburys are feeding us anyway…
A: what’s a pollack? hmmmm….
Me: Something slimy, salty and off-white in colour
A: man sperm?
Me: that was the first thing that came in to your head, hm?
A: yes, actually it really was. I’m not going to deny it.

Huzzah!

“Colin and chips” sounds wrong though, “Cod and chips” and “Pollack and chips” are good.