The Ramblings of Guise Dugal

Yes, finally they have hit the shops and the first place I saw them…the hospital cafeteria (which is a frightening place, I tell ya). What are they, you ask? The new “Do Us A Flavour” crisps from Walkers and amongst them was the one I was waiting for.

Not so long ago Walkers crisps, who my American friends will more likely know as a European version of chip-company Frito Lays, ran a promotion on their crisps inviting the public to “Do Us A Flavour” and send in suggestions for new flavours of crisps. Now, as our good friend, Dan, can testify due to a bulk sending of crisps before Christmas, the UK is not short on ‘interesting’ flavours of crisps. For an idea of the flavours, check out the Wiki page for the current range.

If it hadn’t been for my friend Tink – who may not actually get to read this but who is in part to blame for squirrelly content on my blog and solely responsible, as prime victim, for the creation of the Squirpion – I would not have known before hand just which flavour would have me the most excited. In fact, Tink told me about the crisps in a simple email in the middle of January in a message that read: “IT WAS YOU! WASN’T IT!!!! ALL YOU!”

From that point on I searched every store, waiting for the first place to release that scared product!

Cajun Squirrel is rather mildly spiced, in face it’s only really a bog-standard spice mix (not even bayou-standard), and the ingrediants do not contain squirrel in any percentage (including any kind of meat flavouring), they even state that no squirrels were harmed in making them and it’s suitable for vegetarians.

What is the point in that? At the very least I want a squirrel to have been cleaned up, put in a pair of trunks (a bikini for a girl squirrel) and told to do a few laps of the flavourings vat. They could have even done squirrel swimming races, with very eager squirrels waxing their bodies believing it makes them aerodynamic. Or as I said to the lovely Dio:

Me: i want my cajun squirrel crisps to contain squirrel though, or at least have had a squirrel swimming in the vat of flavouring
Me: synchronised squirreling
Dio: XD;;;; that sounds slightly not tasty
Me: lil squirrels in speedos and bikinis, maybe with tight swim caps on…
Dio: XD
Me: a fat squirrel doing a cannonball from the edge
Me: two young squirrels being told to get out of the vat as no petting is allowed
Dio: ^^;;;;
Me: baby squirrels with inflated rubber armbands
Dio: XD
Me: and the dorky baby squirrel who has come with armbands, a waist belt with a ducky, flippers on his feet, goggles, a snorkel, nose plugs…
Me: i like saying snorkel
Dio: XD

Now, ages ago there was a segment on Gordon Ramsey’s Channel 4 show The F Word where he discussed squirrel eating in some detail, because the grey squirrel in the UK is considered vermin and landowners have the right to destroy and dispose of grey squirrels as they see fit, including private consumption. I know that this is also true in the US, where a lot of roadkill cafes or some vendors do a nice trade.

It seems though that we just can’t seem to want to be seen snacking on the little fellows to include them on our menu, which I can’t help thinking is a bit of a shame if we’re willing to eat rabbit and are so defensive of the red squirrel.

I want to have so much squirrel in my crisps that the bag advises “Warning: May contain nut traces”!

In other news, last week I got this through the mail:

From Dan and ‘chelle. Ominous Box is Ominous. More to come. Said2beavirtue.

Tags: crisps, food, squirrel, squirrels