The Ramblings of Guise Dugal

(Revision: 19 June 2010. Found pictures of the Egg Hatching, photos added to main section)

Just after Easter last year – yes, almost a year back now – Amy from over here (and obviously the X-Entertainment following) sent the second Ominous Box from the States. This box contained all manner of goodies and treats, each individually wrapped in copious amounts of Sesame Street gift wrap.

As it is nearing Easter once more it only seemed fitting that my first ‘defeating procrastination’ post should be about Ominous Box II and its contents. You may recall that I covered some of the stuff in the post Ominous Box 2?! back in July, which included some YouTube vloggery, but now it’s actually experiment time!

Book o’ Quotes

I love quotes. Seriously, I love being able to find those short one or two sentences said by someone that so succintly summarises a feeling or event, the kinds of quotes that can amuse, inspire or emotionally affect you. I have about a dozen themed quote books and dictionaries of quotations, as well as my own Quotefile that someday I will put online to be shared for amusement. I suppose it could be in part why I love Criminal Minds, in addition to great cast and characters, enthralling storylines, mental disorders and violent crime, they also feature great quotes.

I’m not sure how Amy knew about my quote love, but she included a book of quotes which her accompanying note alluded to me needing cheering up. I know I can be morose at times, hard to read other times and manic on occassion, so no doubt this will come in hand.

There are some wonderful and inspiring quotes in the book and it is a truly great repositry.

Easter Stickers

Little pictures of bunnehs and duckies that adhere to surfaces, is there anything cuter in the world? Well, maybe little bunnehs and duckies that can be placed on velcro walls for easy storage, and then removed for snuggles. Sort of an Emergency Cuddle Zone, with cushioned floor and detachable wall fuzzies, and a regular shipment of Kittens in a Box.

Optimus Prime Mini-Kite

I haven’t tested the kite out yet, mainly because my kite flying experiences are comparative to those of Charlie Brown. Whenever I try to fly a kite, it drags on the ground until it’s torn apart from twigs and stones like condemned prisoner being drawn behind a horse. On the rare occasions I can get it up – the kite that is – it has a habit of finding something to snag on to, if we’re on a deserted beach in the middle of nowhere, it’ll pull a palm tree out of Hammerspace just to snag itself.

Egg Painting Kits

Unlike the real Easter Bunnies who lay pre-decorated shells – a result of their bizarre cultish breeding habits and psychotropic mushroom use, which basically leaves the female bunnies with a tie-dying womb and a conception that is less teachers aid video and more Hunter S. Thompson trip – Americans seem to enjoy taking time with children to apply paints and stickers to hens egg. Sadly, I didn’t buy any eggs, so I’ll have to try this another time.

The kit does seem pretty good though, with paints and brushes and even egg holders included.

Easter Bunny Growing Pet

A bunneh from an egg, the first homebrewing method of genetic engineering. I was all prepped and ready, with a bowl of water beside me, I dropped the egg in the water. Sadly, it does take 3-5 days for the egg to hatch, so we’ll have to come back to it later.

It is slightly amusing that there’s a warning label not to swallow it. Not a warning to parents that there’s a choking hazard, but a warning to people old enough to read and comprehend. No wonder Kinder Eggs are banned in the US.

The egg hatching actually took a week to finish completely, and I took a few shots throughout:
21 March

22 March

23 March

27 March

Candy Spinner

How best to describe this? Actually, the best way to describe this has already been considered awkward and embarrassing, but here goes: a battery operated device with a rabbits head at the top that when switched on lights up and vibrates. Yeah.

Actually, what happens is that there is a bulb at the top with a two-sided disc featuring a duck on one side and a rabbit on the other, around the side of the disk are a number of small LED bulbs. When you press the button on the side, the disk spins and the LEDs light up, but because of the motor inside the whole thing shakes. But honestly, given that, what would you expect me to say about it?

The spinner also contains ‘tart candy disks’ inside, and although they had a very tart immediate taste, once it subsided there was no taste anywhere to be found. But by god was the first moment of tongue touching tart, it was like licking a 9V battery. Mmm.

I couldn’t not put the three Bugs/Daffy Hunting Season Trilogy here when talikng about this little thing though.

Wonka Golden Egg

I wasn’t sure what to expect with the Wonka egg, because it could have been anything from solid chocolate to fondant or caramel, but for that matter it could have contained dog meat or crickets. I knew it was unlikely to have the latter, but given both Wilder’s and Depp’s portrayal of the confectioner I wouldn’t have deemed it impossible as an officially licensed product.

As it happens, the egg was a solid wall of Nestle chocolate – not that damnable Hershey’s crock – and a thin lick of caramel against the inside wall. It was scrumdiddliumpcious.

Baby Ruth

Hey, you guuuuuys! Ok, I really couldn’t say about the Baby Ruth without a Goonies reference. You see the Baby Ruth doesn’t exist in the UK, it’s another one of those peanutty candies that just never make it over here, but that doesn’t stop us from knowing of its existence, even if no-one would be able to tell you what it is. One of the main reasons I think so many people know is from watching The Goonies, where the Baby Ruth was probably the ultimate tipping point – it’s the redeeming Anakin moment or the Dhalsim in collapsing building.

Amy had sent through a Baby Ruth baseball that contained two funsize candy bars and I honestly had no idea what to expect. Opening the candy though, it became apparent that it was a nutty little number. Lumps and bumps all over.

My god it was delicious though, with such soft nougat and chewy peanuts and chocolate that actually tasted like chocolate.

Candy Popsicle

I haven’t actually tried it, but it seems like a form of Chupa-chup or Push-pop solid candy with a strawberry flavour. It’s leading gimmick though seems to be that you can split it in half to share, which is nice in a Barney sort of way.

Jaws Jelly Beans

Ok, so it isn’t actually a licensed Jaws product, but the name seems to fit. A plastic egg with a shark face decal and inside was a bag of teeny jelly beans. The jelly beans were surprising, they smelt strongly of the overly scented cheap candy shop in the local knock-off market, really strong and sweet but entirely generic. Strangely though, the jelly beans tasted like proper ‘gourmet’ beans, especially the Cherry red ones. Nom nom nom.

Candy Carrot Container

Yay, now you can look like you are eating healthy while actually stocking up on generic gum. I actually love this container just for the cheesy Easter tie in, one step removed from the Easter Bunny but close enough that you still ‘get it’. I can see the advertisments where the Bunny pulls them out of his vegetable garden and carrying them away. Unless the Easter Bunny is Georgia, then we alllll know what happens to the carrot.

Light Up Candy Pacifier

For some reason I thought this was a gummy when I first saw it, but it is the normail solid candy. A lovely red happy bunny with facial features that lights up when you press a button on the pacifiers hilt. I’m assuming it is called a hilt, maybe it’s a handle? Hilt or handle, the whole thing lights up. It’s not the best tasting, a little sour and a ‘manufactured’ after taste, but the level of detail is nice and it does light up!

Wind-up Gum Crapping Chicken

An actual Hubba Bubba gum laying hen that walks around. The process is simple, you load the egg-shaped gum in to the hen by twisting it’s head off and then slowly putting a maximum of five eggs inside, you wind it up and it walks around with eggs flicking out its back.

There are a few drawbacks though. The first is obvious, no-one is really patient enough to individually load each piece when the bag is open and contains a lot more than five pieces. The second is that the gum flings out and bounces and rolls, kids would have to be fast to make the ‘five second rule’ of food recovery.

Oh, and the gum is solid after a year. Crrrrunch.

Marshmallow Creatures

This was the big experiment. How well would marshmallow animals be after a year? The hardest part to answer for that was comparitavely, because I hadn’t tasted what they were like before and so couldn’t tell what they were meant to be like. Undaunted, I picked up one of the pieces and bit in. The mallow was thick and chewy, like a Flump marshmallow and tasted pretty good, it tasted ‘yellow’ which was sort of like vanilla and banana, but only the type of vanilla and banana that doesn’t exist naturally.

Still, yummy and chewy.

In summary:

Thank you, Amy, for a lovely gift. I’m sorry it took a while to cover it all, but I really wanted to dedicate time to it in proper depth.

(Revision: 19 June 2010. Found pictures of the Egg Hatching, photos added to main section)