The Ramblings of Guise Dugal

It’s coming up to Easter and as is traditional thoughts are turning to fish suppers on Good Friday, mine certainly is because I’m going to see Ed Byrne perform his comedy gig in the local theatre and it’s a tradition that my brother and I have to always hit the chippy afterwards – yes, I [...]

“I think animal testing is a terrible idea;
they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.”
Stephen Fry, A Bit of Fry And Laurie

We all have our moments of delusion, where we think of the ‘What If’ of our own little universes, where we play a role in our head that exaggerates the mundane practice [...]

We don’t do Thanksgiving in the UK, this sometimes comes as a shock to some. Not too long ago, while booking at Hilton in the US for next year, I had a discussion with a very sweet young lady (ok, a cute girl) about the encroaching Halloween and the Christmas, and she was rather taken [...]

Hm, let’s leave Halloween behind us for the moment and consider something more horrific, more maddening and more poisonous to the minds and bodies of todays youth. Yes, it’s time that I ventured back in to the kitchen for yet another Cooking with Guise.
Now this Cooking with Guise could be seen by some as a [...]

Since I was a little kid I can remember my mum making us bread and butter pudding for dessert; not to be confused with bread pudding which is more cakey.
The bread pudding recipe seemingly passed down from her mother and with very little change, at times it seemed like they were still following ration book provisions of [...]

Today is Good Friday. Now, I’ve never really understood where the idea of nailing some pretty cheerful, kind-hearted person on a cross was ever considered ‘Good’, I reckon if you asked the person being staked they’d probably call it “A Bit of A Pisser”, and we’d be observing “A Bit Of A Pisser Friday”. Shops [...]

There has always been a part of me that has been drawn to the ice cream from McDonalds, it’s milkiness and texture always reminded me of Mr Whippy ice creams but without the threat of losing half of it as it dripped from the wafer cone. I used to be fairly skeptical of the McFlurry [...]

There’s an old email forward that tells the story of confectionary love, it reads:
Mr Cadbury and Ms Rowntree went off for the weekend.
It was After Eight. She was from Quality Street. He was a Fishermans Friend.
On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar. He had a Rum and Butter. She had a Wine Gum. [...]

Brak: Okay. Here’s another one. Why were the little strawberries upset?
Zorak: (Sigh) Because they were in a jam.
Brak: Nooooo, because they were in a j- ohhhh, you heard it.
Zorak: Yes, I heard it. About a hundred years ago.
Brak: You already heard the joke about the little strawberries.
Zorak: That’s right. So, Brak, know any good jokes?
Brak: [...]

Brak: Here’s a song. It’s pretty cheesey, I hope you like it! Bum bum bum… Cheese log, cheese log
Cylindrical and yellow.
Cheese log, cheese log
Makes Brak a happy fellow!
Cheese log, cheese log you’re my friend.
Though you go straight to my rear end.
It’s not your fault that I get bloated,
I ate too many cheese logs once and [...]

Brak: This is a song about eatin’ foodI would climb the deepest river, swim the highest mountain
I’d wash my feet in lemonade if that will do the trick
I would dip my pig in butter, and ride him ’round the playground
If I thought it’d make you love me I’d put soup on a stick
Soup on a [...]

Space Ghost: Here’s a wonderful Nugget of Joy, from Zorak.
Zorak: We’ve all heard the expression “It’s as easy as taking candy from a baby”. But, have you ever thought about how accurate that expression actually is? I mean, think about it. Babies offer practically no resistance, and they’re easily distracted. Simply say “Hey! Baby! Lookit [...]

Good grief, as the expression goes, and today I lived up to all that phrase entails.
You see, it’s coming up to Halloween and that is my favourite time of the year, I could do without Easter and Christmas as long as there is a good Halloween. The only drawback is, I’m British, and we don’t [...]