There is a frequent fallback for bloggers when time and inspiration falls short, and I’m rather glad of it in this instance because it embraces a minor passion of mine, and that is Stuff Wot I Bought. In the last couple of months I bought quite a few geeky and tech items, a few of which I regaled friends and family with until they began to enter that peaceful trance-like state of nodding head and mantric repetition of “uh-huh, uh-huh”.

I thought I’d mention a few here to help visitors to the blog on their meditative step towards nirvana.

Stuff wot I bought for a Friend of a Friend

I like the term FOAF and that very few people understand it. I like being able to help friends. I like treating people and giving. I like hunting obscure stuff down. I like buying stuff that when people see in my place have to ask for a story behind it.

Friend of the blog and fellow X-E Advent-urer, Dan, dropped me a line a while back about one of his friends who has a son that has recently gotten in to the British childrens television show “Brum”. The show tells short stories about a miniature version of a 1920s Austin 7 car. Dan wondered if there was anything around that I could get my hands on, and I was more than happy to have a hunt.

I did a bit of a tour around and found a few items on Amazon and on the production companies website. I had to rule out some of the stuff due to choking hazards and DVDs with region restrictions. I was left with a nice choice of toys, books and accessories (ie. kitchen aprons, lunch bags) to pick from.

I ended up picking out a vibrating plush toy, where you pull Brum’s spare tire and it rumbles like a video game system controller. A Stunt Brum that apparently moves on its own and makes noise, which I can only hope is true, because all kids should have something that will lead to parents utter frustration. I also picked out a Bumper Book of Brum, which is more like a traditional Annual I used to get each christmas as a kid, featuring simple stories and activities like Spot the Difference and mini-mazes.

Stuff wot I bought to wear

My wardrobe is really quite limited, but I know what I like and what I feel comfortable in. You can probably tell a lot from my choice of clothing.

Hoodies. I like hoodies, and have ever since the first time I really encountered them. I have a fond memory of a friend and co-worker, Ping, wrapped up in one in her flat as we were drinking freshly made hot chocolate – way before the associated image of chavs took them into their stereotype. Hoodies are lovely and warm, plus I buy them baggy enough to hide some of my unappealing features.

Raglan Tees. Raglan tees go hand-in-hand with Converse sneakers in my fashion happy place, I just love the style so much. Of course the main flaw of raglans is choosing which load of laundry they go in to.

Long coat. I used to wear long coats a lot as I was growing up, but they became harder to get and more expensive. My last long coat was several years ago, rather amusingly it died in a somewhat omen-like message about a relationship – I left it next to a radiator while with a girl, it got hot and the wax coating peeled off, by comparison the relationship was rather hot for a while and the end result was similar. I still love long coats though, and until I can afford a good leather-like coat, the rather ‘country squire’ duster will do in a pinch.

Stuff wot I bought to take away with me, but wot will be staying here with me

I bought some replacement dead hooker transport modules, or luggage as it is more commonly known. As you may recall from last year, my luggage got the crap beaten out of it by the friendly folk at Air France, so this time I looked to replace to soft cases with semi-hard shell pieces. They are a little smaller, but that isn’t too bad.

Stuff wot I bought to read

Stuff wot I bought that is techy

Dictaphone. I bought a dictaphone to tackle those problems of writing down ideas and then have them be meaningless, though it does feel weird to talk to myself in an otherwise empty flat long after I’ve locked the doors and turned out the lights. I know it didn’t affect Starfleet captains when dictating their logs, but dammit if I don’t find it a little weird. Maybe I should build it in to a mannequin, so that I could talk to that and it wouldn’t seem so strange.

1.5TB Hard Drive. When I told a colleague about getting a 1.5TB hard drive, the response I got was “How are you ever going to fill that up?” I had to sheepishly shuffle my feet as I admitted that I’d already filled that much up on multiple smaller hard disks. You see, I’m a pack rat and keep both originals and finished items. I have raw video files and finished productions, I have all the photos I take whether I find them publishable or not due to blur or ‘interestingness”, I have logs from text-based games I played in the 90s. This hard disk is merely to free up my smaller hard disks so that I can use them again.

Stuff wot I bought from ThinkGeek

For ages I wanted to shop at ThinkGeek, it’s almost a religious experience. For those that don’t know, ThinkGeek is a site dedicated to providing unnecessary things to people who should, but don’t, know better than to buy them – it is in the purest a place for geeks to buy things that are inherently geeky. Even the most mundane things will have something done to them that will take their geek quota up to over nine thousand. Coffee cups that stir themselves, a cocktail set that is styled to look like lab equipment, and all manner of other wacky and wonderful stuff.

Like a lot of geeks, and I use the label because I’m frequently told I am one even if I’m not convinced, I suffer from a lamentable problem with the amount of gadgets in my life: where the hell do you put them. Sadly, I don’t have cartoon Hammerspace to store things, so I end up wearing coats in hot weather for pockets or shoving so much in my jeans that I’m scared that misstepping will cause my keys to dial a member of family whilst my digital camera takes multiple images of pocket lint.

ThinkGeek had a couple of good suggestions in the form of utili-kilts and messenger bags, and then I saw the geek holsters. Shoulder holsters with pockets, which could fit under a jacket snugly, and hip holsters that extend down the top of the leg.

The only flaw I have found is that being a larger gentleman (read: fat-arsed, moob-ed freak) neither of the holsters actually fit correctly. The shoulder holster pockets are located in an armpit and the hip belt isn’t wide enough for me.

The other flaw was that when it was delivered I had to pay £25 in customs and VAT.

Unsurprisingly, I caved to the urges – well, it’s one of the few urges I’m actually able to cave to on my own – and put in the order from the China retailer.

In a way it felt like I was ordering from those advertisements that used to fill up the back of comic books, except instead of the $4.99 and postage, I was paying out about £70. I was still filled with that giddy ignorant innocence that makes you watch the mail – and in this day and age, the order process status page – and dreaming up how I would set right the worlds wrongs, document fun conversations and seamlessly integrate my own POV shots in my vlogs.

There were a few problems in getting my sunglasses to me though. I had chosen the week following the Chinese New Year to place my order and then fell afoul to the worst bit of considerate business practice, a company that quality assures products it distributes. It only then took forty-eight hours to get from China to East Midlands (UK), via Hong Kong and London. Of course, it then took extra days just to go the three hour drive from the Midlands to here.

But you can judge for yourself the outcome in the following vlogs:

Now, there are some Pros and Cons to the camera, I could make compelling arguments either way, but instead I’ll just list a few thoughts.

• Con: The switching between modes is not the easiest, requiring you to press a Mode button and the required device button. One would wonder why they don’t just use a sliding switch, which would be a much more fluid method.

• Con: The buttons aren’t necessarily consistent in the amount of pressure required to operate and don’t really give much of a cue as to whether you’ve done it right.
• Con: On the issue of cues, most of the operating lights are located on the inside of the sunglasses arms, completely hidden. The only audio cues are when you’ve definitely done it right: the MP3 kicks in or you hear faint buzzing.
• Pro: There aren’t any telltale external signs of the devices being in use.
• Pro: For so many devices, the sunglasses aren’t actually that big and bulky. They are not, for example, Bono-sized goggles, but more akin to a cross between Dog the Bounty Hunter and Geordi LaForge.
• Con: Despite not being huge, they are not the most subtle or stylish and there does seem to be a fair bit of excess plastic that could be streamlined. They aren’t exactly Oakley or Raybans standard.
• Con: Yes, it is asking a lot, but it would be very useful if the lens polarised a little more or started off at a darker tint.
• Con: On a similar note, the video mode seems to suffer from brightness balancing when used in brighter surroundings. I don’t think I need to raise why this is somewhat ironic for cameras mounted in sunglasses.
• Con: I was aware that the resolution was only VGA quality – decent enough VGA quality at that – but it would have been a huge advantage if they had managed to include widescreen recording. For those thinking about video quality and aspect ratio on pin hole lenses, I’d like to point to the iPhone’s pinhole camera which is roughly same resolution.
• Pro: 15 minutes of footage only takes up 350MB and the sunglasses have 8GB (8192MB) capacity, which at my rough maths would give about five odd hours of recordable hours.
• Con: The microphone is affected by wind, picking up the grainy noise even in a slight breeze.
• Pro: The MP3 player is pretty good with some pretty nice earphones built into the frame, I could have done with the earphones being a little more flexible to fit my ears, but even outside they are audible.
• Pro: The Bluetooth seems to work decently, though you can’t adjust mic volume and it gets a bit crackly, especially near traffic. However, compared to holding the phone to your ear whilst cold air whips around you, it’s quite a wonder.
• Con: Very bad instruction manual with plentiful examples of Engrish.

There might seem quite a few cons, but this is actually a great gadget. A while back I bought a handheld digital video camera for a similar price, which was also VGA quality, but the actual end quality was much lower and the camera was a brick. The sunglasses camera combo is practical, slightly more subtle and leaves your hands free to carry other stuff.

I think this may be quite helpful in letting me do a few extra things in the vlogs or for catching those rare moments between proper filming. I’m hoping to pick up a proper video camera soon, ahead of the trip to Seattle, so it’ll be interesting to use the two together.

Recently, as well as having a light season on blogging, I’ve also been lacking in putting up vlogs to YouTube. I have actually been recording footage nearly everyday, with some 20 hours worth of raw footage since just before Christmas up to the present, however the editing is tiresome at times and quite often the events don’t really strike me as worth mentioning, and so the footage is just sat in an external hard drive.

I still find times though when something interesting happens or something strikes me and I just can’t grab my camera in time, I know I’m not alone in wishing there was some way to be able to capture those random spontaneous moments of the day or the witticisms of company.

I don’t know how many people will remember the TV show Bailey Kipper’s POV, but ever since I watched that as a kid I wanted to be a walking, not necessarily to broadcast, but so that memories were captured.

Personally, I’d love a floating recording device that could follow me around like Cambot from Mystery Science Theatre 3000. I keep a quotefile/quotebook, but sometimes there are moments that you try to share in words, but never quite come across the same as if someone could witness it.

I actually started to look into things like bullet cam kits, pinhole cameras and extreme sport helmet cams. Bullet cams are the most expensive option, but give very high quality recordings, perhaps too high quality for random videos that may never surface and that I may get bored of in my usual manner. Pinhole cameras tend to be slightly lower quality, but the actual problem for me is that I’d have nowhere to place it that would give a good recording.

The better bet for me would be the helmet cam, these are usually of a semi-decent quality, some going up to 720p high-def quality, but the flaw is that mounting a camera to your head is hardly subtle, you don’t exactly achieve a slimline Borg look or even something trendy like a scanner from Dragonball Z, you typically end up with a thick tube mounted above your ear.

This leads me to telling you about being a consumer whore. I am quite happy to admit that I can be a gadget freak and brand follower, I don’t own very many branded clothing items (besides my Converse sneakers, which I adore because they last a damn long time and are such a classic style) but I do like to buy branded gadgets.

So, as winter has been cold I’ve spent some time trying to walk home in biting weather, chatting on my iPhone and feeling my hand getting very cold as I hold the phone to my ear. Obviously I needed to look in to a bluetooth device of some kind. I’m not overly fond of the earpieces, always finding that they look odd to me, but I did find Oakley Razerwire sunglasses that come with a bluetooth earpiece that fits on the frame. Stylish, branded and gadgetty, it seemed a pretty good option to me.

However, then I found another item which left me torn with decision. Whilst searching for ‘bluetooth sunglasses’ I found a pinhole camera mounted in to sunglasses, which also had a bluetooth device, mp3 player and FM radio built in to the frame. The camera is only to VGA standard, 640×480, but given that it would only be for those moments when a proper camcorder isn’t to hand.

So, I find myself torn between getting a single comparitavely cheap device that could do everything, but to a lower standard, or paying out for items that are actually designed to do a very good job (and not to mention, will be recognisably trendy).

Chances are, I will pay out for the single device to test it, regret the purchase and then have to save up again to fix the decision – because that’s how I roll.

So, seeing as we got this far together and you are still reading, how about a little group therapy session and a question for everyone to answer: Thinking back, has anything recently happened that you’ve wished someone was recording for you? If so, what happened?

The other day, for example, I wore my pink shirt (that didn’t really look too pink in the picture), because I said to Dio that the next time I used my cam I’d wear the pink shirt in tribute to her blog layout. I’d actually intended to wear it the next time I did a vlog, but who knows how long that would be.

Just the other night, whilst in conversation, I made a comment about how one of her friends was made of pure win because of the Earthbound plushies she’d made. They wanted it in writing and Dio, who as we should all be familiar with, suggested some cute stationary would be appropriate. In fact, she suggest Playboy bunny stationary. Whether she meant this seriously, I’ll leave to debate.

“I am not a slut, though I thank the gods I am foul.” – William Shakespeare, As You Like It

Yes, I have pretty pink Playboy stationary in a small pad to send smiley letters. Isn’t in cute and quirky? I feel I should be writing with an abuse of capitalisation and colours already, and squealing a lot in high pitch.

So, yeah…smexy, cute and quirky!

Guess what, The Sun is outraged and not pulling punches!

Well, seeing as it’s part of their editorial Women section, I suppose they can be as unbiased as they want. Then again, it’s The Sun, they hardly ever just ‘report’ news.

What has them so hot under the collar? Well, the fact that some young ladies may be inspired to dress ‘hot’ under the collar.

A FRILLY, lacy, see-through thong, a pair of provocative hotpants with the slogan California Babe posted saucily across the bottom and a selection of padded, push-up bras.

It might sound like a selection of clothes from a sexy lingerie boutique. But the haul shown here was from children’s sections of High Street stores and the internet.

Supermarket giant Tesco came under fire recently for selling a padded push-up bra for girls as young as seven.

So we decided to hit the High Street to see what other products are marketed for young girls. And the results were very disturbing.

Worryingly, pre-teens and early teens are being encouraged to boost their non-existent cleavages and sport inappropriate messages on their underwear.

Tesco’s fall from grace isn’t the first time a major retailer has come under fire for selling similar products.

Indeed, every time a shop gets into trouble for putting on sale inappropriate clothes for youngsters, new products soon appear.

Just last month lingerie chain La Senza provoked a storm of controversy after launching an underwear line for girls as young as five.

The range, aimed at five to 12-year-olds, contained lacy-cropped tops with adjustable straps and pink frilly pants with love-heart details.

Three years ago Asda were forced to withdraw pink and black lace lingerie, including a push-up bra, marketed for nine-year-olds following complaints from parents.

Children’s groups also called for a boycott of a Little Miss Naughty range sold by Bhs, which included padded bras.

The controversy over underwear for pre-teens fuels fears that a generation of young girls is being encouraged to grow up too fast generally – by the sexualisation of other products as well as clothes.

WH Smith attracted controversy after selling Playboy-branded stationery, while the frightening Bratz dolls are sold everywhere.

With their fishnets, miniskirts and crop-tops, they outsell the more conservatively dressed Barbie dolls by two to one.

With those kind of dolls to play with, and underwear like our haul pictured, is it any wonder that our little girls seem to be growing up far too quickly?

(Source: Saucy clothes aimed at children, The Sun, 23 April 2008)

The Sun helpfully provides photographs of the offending articles.

They also brought out The Sun’s Agony Aunt, Deidre Sanders, and celebrity fashion critic, Susannah Constantine, to give their verdicts.

Both were very vehemently against young girls ‘parading around’ in such adult underwear, which makes me wonder whether part of the problem is that they have children who have a tendency to flash their underwear in public.

Now, it’s very one-sided, because boys don’t really get much more ‘attention’ from wearing lacy things. In fact, I’m trying hard to think of one item of clothing for men that could really be counted as increasing sensual attractiveness and coming up empty.

Yes, it’s dangerous to sexualise children, and yes, it is wrong to promote the viewpoint that the most valuable aspect of a person is sex appeal, but here’s the thing that I’m wondering: who will buy the clothes, really?

I have to think that parents, being the ones with money, are the most likely purchasers. If they are outraged, then don’t buy it. If they aren’t outraged, maybe that’s systematic of why these products exist.

What happened to the days of simple underwear with cartoon characters on them, that you’d beg to have bought for you and then be embarrassed if anyone actually saw them because you’d be the laughing stock of the class? Well, besides the fact that there aren’t very many good cartoons to choose from.

What’ll they do, put out Dr Who underwear? I can just see the outrage based on the ‘hidden meaning’ of having a TARDIS on the front of white cotton panties.

Besides, everyone knows that the most sensual underwear is either white cotton with a tiny bow or Supergirl/Superman logo’d. Oh, and don’t diss Lolita- or Shota-complexes.

Now, I know I’ve got a very good audience here for opinions – whether they be apathetic, angry or joyous over the topic of clothing. There’s a hard-working Family Man with kids who visits here and likely could give an opinion on what he’d let his kids wear (if they weren’t boys). I’ve also got smokin’ girly hotties too who might have their own viewpoints on how harmful it is. And then there’s the boys.