The Ramblings of Guise Dugal » Stories http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog I'm always asked for my opinion...Once! Sun, 11 Jul 2010 18:01:32 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Playmobil Advent Calendars http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2010/playmobil-advent-calendars/ http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2010/playmobil-advent-calendars/#comments Fri, 02 Jul 2010 09:47:11 +0000 Guise Dugal http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/?p=1018 Wow, it’s halfway through the year. About 6 months since and until Christmas and I finally get around to discussing the Playmobil Advent Calendars that I bought for Christmas 2009.

If you were reading back at Christmas time you may recall that I started and never managed to finish the Great Advent Rip-Off story. Suffice to say, I survived that dilemma and managed to not become a rabbit permanently. I do regret not finishing it, but I know that I don’t have the time or inclination to go back and writing up all the rest of it, just as much as I know that I wouldn’t want to leave it until later to finish. I did have the suggestion given to me to leave it until Christmas 2010 and continue the story, but I can’t tell that I wouldn’t just get through five entries and burn out again.

Instead, I thought I’d give my thoughts and feelings on the Playmobil Advent Calendars from my experience. Before Christmas, I bought four different Playmobil calendars with the intention of opening them each day and running a story. Most people only saw three of the calendars, but I actually got: Woodland; Cops and Robbers; Fairy Tale, and; Pirates. I only got as far as opening up to Day 5 on all but Pirates, which itself remains unopened.

What is the Calendar?

The calendar comes sold as a big solid box, with an outer sleeve giving a hint at what is inside. Assuming you are buying this for a child, you’ll have some work to do before handing it over – if you are buying it for yourself, be prepared to have the mystery spoilt as you will have to learn what is in each day.

The main box itself has one side with a colourful picture and 25 cardboard flaps cut in to it.

What’s in the Calendar

Inside the calendar, you get bags of mixed up Playmobil pieces, cardboard dividers to separate the box into sections and a flimsy card that is supposed to provide a backdrop to the Christmas diorama.

Getting a Playmobil calendar is a bit like getting the old LEGO bucket o’ bricks, but instead of knobbly blocks you get random figures and miscellaneous items. It really is a crapshoot at times, because you can end up with a cool new character or an obscure shapeless thing that will have to wait for another box to open to make sense – commonly this is things like branches to trees or something from a farmyard.

Whilst this might seem frustrating and, at times, cheap by Playmobil, it is actually surprisingly good value as far as helping kids build up a collection of toys. Single figure Playmobil can cost close to £5, but the Advent Calendar costs £10-15, usually includes two or three figures plus twenty odd bits of kit.

As an example of what you get for your money, this is a list of what was in each of the calendars:

Cops and Robbers: 1x Criminal figure, 2x Cops figure, grappling hook and briefcase, axe and torch, gold coins, walkie-talkie and gun, a dog, 2x nightstick and handcuffs, a street light, a ‘wanted’ poster, a pedal bike, a wheelie bin, a kitty, a raven and three mice, a hat, a barricade, barricade lights and a megaphone, stopsign and traffic cones, a motorbike, a helmet and ‘stop’ paddle, a toilet and sink, a bench and accessories.

Fairytale: 1x Fairy Woman, 2x Fairy Child with wings and hats, magic wand, doves, copious amounts of flowers, parasol, shrubs, shrub archway, pond, frog and lillypad, flower basket, butterflies and net, unicorn, carriage, gold chest, mirror, shells, giant clam shell.

Woodland: 2x Patch of ground, birds, a big tree, 2x pine trees, feed box, baby deer, doe, reindeer, baby raccoon, big raccoon, boar, baby boar, baby badger, badger, mice, fox cubs, fox, vegetables, a row boat, Santa.

Pirates: 1x Pirate captain, 1x Pirate, palm tree, monkey, booze barrel, bucket and pan, tools, map and weapons, dead tree, hammock, a dog, a parrot, lantern, roaring fire, cannon, sea life, message in a bottle, row boat, treasure chest, gold chest, gold coins, flag and compass, kitty.

As you can see, this is actually a quite nice amount of loot from a calendar and much better than the miniscule, unfulfilling chocolate you’d get in a traditional calendar.

Setting up the Calendar

The builder will need to fully open the box and then using the cardboard dividers, fit together a grid pattern inside the calendar box. The instructions in the box will then show which pieces go where, and provide diagrams to show how to assemble pieces so that kids get things pre-made.

This is probably the bugbear of the calendar, in that all the work has to be done by the person giving the calendar. It is a real shame that Playmobil couldn’t have come up with a way to sell the calendar pre-set and ready to go.

As previously mentioned, there is also a cardboard backdrop that can be made up, but because it is made of flimsy cereal box card, it doe have a habit of bowing and flexing – an attribute that makes it very difficult to get things to stand up on.

Verdict

Despite the set-up hassle, this is an excellent idea and very good value for money. It’s got the advantage of being a lasting Christmas in itself, as every day is a new toy. It might seem a bit more of an expensive option than a traditional, cheap chocolate calendar, but it’s healthier and it feels much more magical and meaningful.

Anyone with young children, I’d highly recommend getting one of these calendars when they come out ahead of Christmas 2010. Even if I don’t write anything about them this year, I’m certainly going to be fighting to get them again.

]]> http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2010/playmobil-advent-calendars/feed/ 1 The Great Guise Advent Rip-Off: Day 5 http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-5/ http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-5/#comments Sat, 05 Dec 2009 23:59:15 +0000 Guise Dugal http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/?p=825
  • Day 1 (Pt 1): Guise gets Bunny-fied in a random act of Christmas magic
  • Day 1 (Pt 2): Guise wanders the Playmobil wilderness and two mysterious characters are NOT introduced!
  • Day 2: Guise wanders the Playmobil wilderness STILL. The mysterious man gets some rather suspicious goodies. Two advent calendars still hide their secrets!
  • Day 3: Guise is still wandering. The mysterious woman is still locked up. The mysterious man is still the only one getting anything from the calendar. Mystery, mystery, mystery.
  • Day 4: Guise reaches the town AT LAST! The mysterious woman is still locked up. The mysterious man is ready to open his own hardware store.

    • Box 5

    Guise: …now in the morning I sleep alone, sweep the streets I used to oh-oh-own…

    Guise: Man, this place is dead. It’s like start of Resident Evil: Apocalypse dead or The Stand dead…or Gary Glitter Daycare Centre dead. There’s lights on everywhere but no-one is about. I’m not even getting run down in the middle of the road by some idiot in a used Fiat, what kind of town is this?!

    Guise: I guess there’s no harm in going down a dirty, dimly lit back alley then. Nothing bad could suddenly happen when there’s no-one around to help…

    …Elsewhere(s)…

    …And Elsewhere Again…

    ????: I definitely look like Mulder right now. I’m rocking the Fox look. I know it. I feel it. Well, Playmobil gods, it’s time to solve your mystery of today! Doo doo doo doo doo doo, Doodede doodede doodede doodede deh.

    ????: That’s right Agent Smashy, we’ll crack this case wide open. You just look pouty whilst I ramble.

    ????: So, Agent Smashy, what do we hav….Holy Jingling Bells Below The Waist!!! I can’t believe it!! This means we…I…OH MY GOD!!! It’s all here!!!

    ????: I gotta stash this away before anyone notices. I can’t take the risk.

    …Later…

    ????: I can’t believe it, I just can’t believe it. After all we went through…I’d wondered if maybe the other guys had gotten away with it, cut me out…but this changes everything. I need to find the guys, they’ll know what we need to do…maybe we can still get this in time, maybe our ship will finally come in!

    ????: There’s no time to lose. I’ll just have to make a run for the border and hope security don’t spot me or have patrols waiting.

    ????: Well, that was anti-climactic. You mean I could have just left the calendar anytime. The gods suck.

    …Later…

    Guise: …cos I know what it me-ee-ee-eans, to walk along the lonely street of dreams…that was anti-climactic. Wandering the streets I don’t know, dressed out of place, in an area that could be rough as anything…and yet I don’t get a whiff of trouble. Kinda like wandering San Jose on my own, only without the constant risk of becoming roadkill. Can’t believe I’ve walked from moonlight to moonlight, didn’t even notice the sun.

    Guise: Ah. The Police…the Rozzers…the Old Bill…the Coppers…the Fuzz…no, wait, my butt is totally The Fuzz right now. Hot Fuzz, baby.

    Meanwhile

    ????: …and it’s so lonely here, if only I had company…or my magic wand, yeah, my wand…or, heck…

    ????: …rabbit would be a nice touch.

    What is the mysterious man talking about and do we really want to know? Just what is the mysterious woman talking about and do we REALLY want to know? What will happen now the mysterious man has crossed the border and who is he going to see? Will Guise turn his head and realise he isn’t alone?

    To be continued…

    ]]>     http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-5/feed/ 1     The Great Guise Advent Rip-Off: Day 4 http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-4/ http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-4/#comments Fri, 04 Dec 2009 23:59:41 +0000 Guise Dugal http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/?p=823
  • Day 1 (Pt 1): Guise gets Bunny-fied in a random act of Christmas magic
  • Day 1 (Pt 2): Guise wanders the Playmobil wilderness and two mysterious characters are NOT introduced!
  • Day 2: Guise wanders the Playmobil wilderness STILL. The mysterious man gets some rather suspicious goodies. Two advent calendars still hide their secrets!
  • Day 3: Guise is still wandering. The mysterious woman is still locked up. The mysterious man is still the only one getting anything from the calendar. Mystery, mystery, mystery.

    • Box 4

    Guise: Finally, civilization! Pretty nice properties out in the ‘burbs too, wouldn’t mind a place like this myself. Guess I’m going to have to go door-to-door and see about getting directions, the locals must have some idea about this whole advent deal. Ok, first house…

    Guise: Ok, here goes…just ring the bell and nicely tell them “Hi, I’m looking for a magical advent calendar that might be able to transform me from this anthromorphic rabbit form into my regular human self, would you be able to give me directions?” Yeah, this’ll so work…

    Meanwhile

    ????: Tappity-tap!

    *CRACK*

    ????: Ok, let’s see what we’ve got ourselves stashed away this time. I hope it’s a convertable or maybe a Humvee…

    ????: Oh, yay…more tools. You know, those gods are stingy, couldn’t they have just put all my tools in the crate and buried that? This is more like trying to find your car keys on an early morning…or car keys and wife at the end of swingers party.

    Elsewhere, much later

    Guise: Well, this is it, the last house on the block. I can’t believe that everyone seems to be out of their homes today, or that every home looks remarkably the same. They must have a highly organised and anal retentive residents comittee. I bet it’s armed too.

    Guise: Can’t see anything through the window, but it’s light inside. Everywhere is so quiet too. Maybe I’d have been better scouting the woods…there was just as much life there…

    …Elsewhere…

    …and back…

    Guise: Nothing! And that’s the last house on the only block in the suburbs. I guess that means I’ll have to venture deeper in to the city…go to the bad side of town…the wrong side of the tracks…

    Guise: …go forth in to the corrupt and pustulent urban sprawl where all manner of twisted, deranged, wicked and sinful being dwells…what horrors await? What horrors indeed?

    …Not Far Away…

    ????: …they’ve obviously taken great effort in this place. No arcana materials, no herbs, no chalk or anything for marking, and totally magic proof. I doubt even the gods or the power of the Duchess could even scry in here. I just wish they’d left me with a mirror, I must look an absolute monster after the last few days. No…actually…I wish they’d left me a toilet! Oh, I wish…I wish…

    …Elsewhere…

    ????: …I wish…

    Will Guise have any luck getting directions? Will the mysterious man end up opening a hardware store? Will the mysterious woman need new underwear (and if so, will we see)? Will the calendars finally get interesting?

    To Be Continued…

    ]]>     http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-4/feed/ 1     The Great Guise Advent Rip-Off: Day 3 http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-3/ http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-3/#comments Thu, 03 Dec 2009 23:59:01 +0000 Guise Dugal http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/?p=820 Previously on The Great Guise Advent Rip-Off:

    • Day 1 (Pt 1): Guise gets Bunny-fied in a random act of Christmas magic
    • Day 1 (Pt 2): Guise wanders the Playmobil wilderness and two mysterious characters are NOT introduced!
    • Day 2: Guise wanders the Playmobil wilderness STILL. The mysterious man gets some rather suspicious goodies. Two advent calendars still hide their secrets!

    Box 3

    Guise: These feet are made for walking/And that’s just what they’ll do/Stones and snow between my toes/I’d kill for a pair of shoes. Man, I miss my Converse’s right now…and my hoodie…and my iPhone…and Facebook…and Twitter. So quiet and boring here, could do with catching up on some tweets….

    …elsewhere…

    *flutter flutter flap flutter*

    *tweet tweet tweet tweet*

    Meanwhile

    ????: Ok, this should work. On 3.
    1
    2
    3!!


    *KAH-CHUNK*

    ????: YES!! And as far as anyone knows I got that throw in on the first take! Now to give it a hefty tug and no more hassle to box opening!

    ????: …just…a…little…more…

    ????: ….Oooof…damn it…think I broke my ass bone.

    ????: Aw Yeah! The family is all back together now, kids. Despite all the hardships we’ve faced and how far apart we’ve been, Daddy has come home and found his precious little angels in time and bought us all home. Christmas is saved.

    ????: Look Mr Grab, it’s your little brother, Mr Smash. Aw, I love you kids! And there’s Little Miss Toolbox, and we all know how you both like to fit inside her together…wait, what?

    Meanwhile

    ????: …they haven’t even read me my rights. Where the are the cops anyway? When I get home, I am so calling a lawyer. Home. *siiiigh* Home…

    …Elsewhere…

    ????: …sweet…

    ????: …home. *sigh*

    Will Guise ever quit whining? Just what is the script implying and how rampant will the immaturity be? Will the mysterious woman ever turn around? Will the other calendars ever be opened?!

    To be continued…

    ]]>     http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-3/feed/ 0     The Great Guise Advent Rip-Off: Day 2 http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-2/ http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-2/#comments Wed, 02 Dec 2009 20:59:05 +0000 Guise Dugal http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/?p=818 Previously on The Great Guise Advent Rip-Off:

    • Day 1 (Pt 1): Guise gets Bunny-fied in a random act of Christmas magic
    • Day 1 (Pt 2): Guise wanders the Playmobil wilderness and two mysterious characters are NOT introduced!

    Box 2

    Guise: Oh man, for a stark, barren two-dimensional wilderness it certainly goes on for miles. I feel like I’m nowhere closer to town than I was yesterday. If this is more of that Playmobil magic slowing me down then I call ‘unfair’ on this whole deal. And where the hell are the gifts, surely if I’m stuck in this place I should at least be stumbling on some boxes.

    …elsewhere…

    Meanwhile

    ????: So this must be the infamous Playmobil Advent Calendar. I thought it was just a legend; a scare story for kiddies. Be good or on the last night of November…but, it’s true…everything…how it gets you…Oh my god, I remember! I remember!!! Ok, think this through, I came out of a box, so I’m part of the plan now, guess I’ll have to play their games…but I’ll need supplies, they’ve cut me off.

    ????: Ah, Box 2! Wait, isn’t that my face? What is this, a Saw movie and a test of my vanity?! Well, I do have very nice designer stubble, if I do say so myself!

    ????: There must be a way to get in, a weak spot or some hidden trick…ah…yes…yes…there it is, I’ve figured it out…

    FALCON PUNCH!!!!

    ????: So, let’s take a little look-see and check out what the Playmobil gods have blessed me with today. Well, hello there, long time no see buddy!

    ????: Woohoo.

    ????: Hey, who took my loot?!?!

    …Meanwhile…

    ????: This isn’t right. The voice of the Duchess told us both what was meant to happen, this wasn’t in the plan…someone betrayed us, betrayed the gods…but who?!

    …Elsewhere…

    Is Guise doomed to wander the wilderness all December? Is the masked man really aware of the truth behind the Advent Calendars and if so just what is it? Who is the mysterious woman, the Duchess and the traitor?

    To be continued…

    ]]>     http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-2/feed/ 1     The Great Guise Advent Rip-Off: Day 1 (Part 2) http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-1-part-2/ http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-1-part-2/#comments Tue, 01 Dec 2009 23:59:44 +0000 Guise Dugal http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/?p=814 Previously on The Great Guise Advent Rip-Off:

    • Day 1 (Pt 1): Guise gets Bunny-fied in a random act of Christmas magic

      • Box 1

      Guise: Well, this is just perfect…seriously, what could be better than being transformed in to a Playmobil bunny? You know, besides NOT being transformed in to a Playmobil bunny! At least I got to be the cute one and not some psycho cotton-bitch-bum. Man, what am I going to do?!

      Guise: Ok, Guise, think straight. You’ve been an Advent-urer since the Box 23 thing, you’ve taken part in Christmas conspiracies and all, you can solve this. Obviously it’s some twisted Playmobil magic or Amalthean Rabbit God test, or someone spiked my drink with rabbithypnol. All I have to do is find some counter magic or something, maybe I can get a new pair of slippers out of this.

      Guise: First thing’s first, get out of this tree. Not talking to myself should probably be first, but…

      Guise: Maaaan, that was a long way down, so many branches and needles and lights and baubels and WHERE THE HELL AM I?! This is so not my living room carpet, what trickery is this? It looks like a diseased and dead wasteland…or Bridgwater, same diff. Dead trees and muddy ground. Spooky hill with dark trees. All it needs is…

      Chipmunk: *snuffle*

      Guise: …phew…

      Wolf: Arrrrrrooooooowwwwwwwwwwllll.

      Guise: …crap. *Sigh* My only hope is to find those Playmobil calendars and take the chance that there is something in there that can help me get back to normality…well, normality for me. If only I had my iPhone, DugalMaps would be so useful now. I have to find those calendars, but I could be miles away!

      Guise: Miles and miles away!

      Guise: …and what if I don’t open them? Who knows what happens to unopened Advent Calendars?! Well, besides Matt, he knows everything. Evil could occur. Eeeeevil.

      Meanwhile

      …

      *Scratch*

      …

      *Scratch Scratch*

      …

      *Scratch Scratch*

      …

      *Scratch Scratch Scratch Scratch*

      *CRACK!!!!!*

      ????: Yeeeees!!

      ????: Is anyone out there? I need some help here! If you won’t help…

      ????: …I’ll just have to help myself!

      …elsewhere…

      Guise: Aw man…freaked out now…

      Guise: Great! A town! Maybe I can get directions or help, at the very least they might have a bar I can drown my bunny sorrows in. Every here is so dead, where’s the life and magic and…and…love…?

      …elsewhere…

      …another elsewhere, but closer to Guise…

      ????: …oh my head…for the love of the Duchess, what did I do last night?!

      ????: …head is all blurry and throbby…and look at this place, so much graffiti and cigarette butts and blood stains and ‘other stains’ and WHERE THE HELL AM I?!

      ????: …this is so not the walk of shame from the boys dorms.

      Who is the masked man with the knitted cap? Where has all the forest life gone? Will Guise ever get his cottonbum to the bar? Who is the winged woman? WHO KNOWS?!

      To be continued…

      ]]> http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-1-part-2/feed/ 3 The Great Guise Advent Rip-Off : Day 1 (Part 1) http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-1-part-1/ http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-1-part-1/#comments Tue, 01 Dec 2009 23:59:05 +0000 Guise Dugal http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/?p=811 Wow, been a long time since I updated. In the meantime I’ve tried my hand at daily vlogging (which is a lot harder to do when nothing interesting has gone on), changed jobs and am still in the process of settling in to having the homestead all to myself. However, that’s the past and the present is advent, which is a fun little rhyme, and as no doubt people visiting here will be aware that means it is time to decorate and observe/participate in X-E’s Advent Calendar, but for me this year is special. This year, for the first year ever, I managed to find Playmobil calendars.

      Those who watched my vlog on 03 October 2009 may recall my initial find, and those still watching by 30 November 2009 will know that I not only bought one, but I bought an extra two just in case!

      The Playmobil Advent Calendars are both wonderous and frustrating, for as much as I love them I still feel it’s a little cheapened that there is a fair bit of ‘parental assembly’ required and it’s not ‘good to go’ out of the box. I can understand the assembly element for LEGO, but the Playmobil actually warns parents to do it. Actually, no, LEGO isn’t so great either, they could box the stuff for you.

      I’m also a little disappointed in the flimsy card backdrops. I know I shouldn’t expect much, but Happy Meal boxes are sturdy than the ones Playmobil ships out. If I had kids, and the kids were anything like me, the backdrops would be destroyed before Box 2 was even found on the calendar.

      But with it being the first of December, and given how last Christmas was rather bleak because of all manner of personal issues, we decided as a family to put the tree up early and get some Christmas magic going. Ok, in actual fact, I decided on that and the rest of the family wisely decided to stay away from my place for the duration.

      Was the result magical? You decide!

      ]]>       http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2009/the-great-guise-advent-rip-off-day-1-part-1/feed/ 1       Knock, Knock, Knockin’ on Advents Door… http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2008/knock-knock-knockin-on-advents-door/ http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2008/knock-knock-knockin-on-advents-door/#comments Mon, 01 Dec 2008 22:14:51 +0000 Guise Dugal http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/?p=590 It’s the first day of December, the day to crack open the first door of Advent Calendars and marvel at the joys within. The day when you can actually start humming Christmas songs without too many strange looks. The day that you can see if it’s ‘festive novelty’ to insert tinsel and baubels into demonstrative skeletons as Christmas Tree Organ-ments. Ok, maybe the latter is just me.

      I’ve always loved Advent Calendars, from the first ones I remember, lacking any form of reward besides very serious looking, artistic renditions of bible things – stars, donkeys (which confused me as a child somewhat, because donkeys are summer beach rides here) and people wearing dressing gowns on sand dunes.

      I was later introduced to the joyful experience of chocolate advent calendars, I can’t remember that many from my early ones, but I remember one of my friends having Mario and Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. I’m pretty sure I had a turtles one, but that may be wishful thinking.

      Not to sound curmudgeonly, but Advent Calendars back then were special. The pictures in the box and on the chocolates often tended to depict the Calendars subjects doing Christmassy things, instead of just all generic images. There were generic images, but they were offset by the pure awesome of seeing Donatello making a snowman or Birdo with a wrapped gift.

      The last few years I’ve definately noticed a trend towards the ‘print a standard sheet’ approach for the Calendars. Will that stop me buying them? Heck no.

      I love the idea behind the Playmobil and LEGO Advent Calendars, and wish more companies did that sort of thing. A gift a day of a well-liked franchise could bring in a lot more than generic images and chocolate. Imagine getting a He-Man calendar back in the day, sold with an armourless, weaponless He-Man and Skeletor figure and getting equipment all through, until Skeletor is dressed in the Santa outfit meant for He-Man and He-Man is sporting leathers. Ok, that wouldn’t be too much of a change to his fashions. There is even a perfect opportunity to do a Nintendo calendar with Brawl-style trophies in each day.

      In short, I love Advent Calendars. I love them because they give a reason every morning to think of Christmas, to build up expectations and to raise excitement, even if just for a monochrone doodle and a piece of cheap chocolate. Advent Calendars are love.

      Now, I could stop here and you are quite welcome to treat this as a break, and if you want to I’ll see you off on a song. If you want to stay, I’ll see you in a few.

      Ladies and gentleman, from 1996 a clip of James Dean Bradfield from the Manic Street Preachers performing “Last Christmas”.

      Still here? Hey, you are so cool.

        Dugal Dugal: No…no…noooooo
        boy: onee-san?
        Dugal: No! No! You cheating who…um…
        boy: **sniff**
        Dugal: Oh no, don’t do that thing with the puppy eyes and quivering lip…
        boy: I’m sowwy, onee-san…
        Dugal: It’s ok, it had to happen eventually…you had to beat me once…
        boy: …I never menna beat you the other two hunnerd and thirty-six though, ‘onest.
        Dugal: …yeah, thanks kid. I was using my best attacks too.
        boy: No-one spams PK Fire like onee-san!
        Dugal: Damn straight! Besides, you’ve had practice, I don’t know why Piss-can…
        boy: Wii-kun?
        Dugal: Him…why he never lets me play.
        boy: Didja ask him to letcha?
        Dugal: Why the hell would I do that? Honestly, it’s my right to play this shiny magic box thing of colours, noise and flickering movement anytime I see fit…
        boy: I really dunno why he doesn’t wanna share then…
        Dugal: Shota…have you been hanging around talking to Guise, cos you sound…
        [Door swings open, letting in Wii-Kun and a strong, chilling breeze]
        Wii-kun: There were dogs…dogs frozen to trees, mid-stream. An old lady beat me with an umbrella because I ‘looked at something she was thinking about considering to maybe come back to buy at a future time’. A homeless guy chased me with a rolled up newspaper from the 90s. Middle aged mothers mispronounced video games within earshot. It’s hell out there!
        Dugal: You’re late, it’s December already.
        Wii-kun: But…but it’s not December 2nd, so I still completed the mission, right?
        Dugal: We shall see, you got the three Advent Calendars, right?
        Wii-kun: Yeah..well, kinda…
        Dugal: ‘Kinda’ is not a ‘Mission Achieved’ or ‘Stage Clear’ pronouncement, ‘Kinda’ is more ‘I’m sorry Mario but the Princess is in another castle’ thing…and so help me if I won’t wasteyou with a roll of quarters ’til you run out of continues if you’ve failed.
        Wii-kun: Well…I got the three calendars…
        Dugal: But?
        Wii-kun: Not Playmobil or Lego…
        Dugal: Damn it, I am so going to…
        Wii-kun: No, no…see it’s fine…I got us Advent Calendars that can help anyway. I got one that should gives us the tech advantage, one that should give us the required humour that we sorely lack amongst ourselves and one that is, I believe, intrinsinctly linked with last years Playmobil Advent Calendar..perhaps even reincarnation…
        Dugal: Reincarnation, huh? Ok, I take that one. Shota gets the tech and you get the humour.
        Wii-kun: Wait, why does the kid get the tech?
        Dugal: 1…because I like him, 2…because I hate you, 3…because you are so little a bit character, this serves as ‘development’.
        Wii-kun: Seniority is such a bitch…
        Dugal: …and so are you. Get to handing out, Wii-mote Boy.
        Wii-kun: Fine…still unnamed boy, here’s your responsibility. It’s themed around alien technology and strange creatures from other worlds, all sciency with DNA and stuff, so hopefully we get some Dragoon parts, a beam sword and some ray guns.
        2008-12-01 - Advent 2008 - Ben10
        boy: Issa Ben10!
        Dugal: Wii-kun…I’m not sure that’s going to hold much for us to celebrate, unless an ex-employee of the calendar-makers got furious on his last day and decided to add hentai images of Gwen in there….and if that has happened, that calendar becomes MINE!
        Wii-kun: Well, they are meant to be magical, so maybe the parts kinda…grow…when they come out. Sort of how Transformers get larger in robot mode.
        Dugal: Show me your calendar…before I get angry that you are making me not picture Gwen…
        Wii-kun: Well, mine is all about family, friends and humour.
        2008-12-01 - Advent 2008 - Simpsons
        Dugal: You have so failed…redeem yourself. My calendar, show me the glory of my valiant knights!
        Wii-kun: Well, about that…see, there were two Playmobil Advent Calendars…and this one, well, it’s more tied to…
        Dugal: no..oh no…
        Wii-kun: …the other one…
        Dugal: Oh god, no…
        2008-12-01 - Advent 2008 - Barbie
        boy: Issa princess!
        Dugal: Why’d you get Barbie?!
        Wii-kun: It was either that or High School Musical?
        Dugal: I hate you…I hate you so much…

      2008-12-01 - Advent 2008 - Calendars 012008-12-01 - Advent 2008 - Calendars 02

      So, in the words of the Dionaea House, the door is open as we venture to the three Advent Calendars. What did we find inside?

      2008-12-01 - Advent 2008 - Ben10 Day 012008-12-01 - Advent 2008 - Barbie Day 012008-12-01 - Advent 2008 - Simpsons Day 01

      Behind Door One, Ben10 had a picture of a Snowman on a Sled and the chocolate was a Christmas Tree. The Simpsons had the message “Tis The Season” and the chocolate was a Christmas Tree. Barbie had a picture of a Snowman on a Sled and the chocolate was a Robin on a Log.

      Of interesting note, Box One was inside Ben’s Omnitrix and Barbie’s bra. Mm, I nibbled on the contents of Barbies bra, it was sweet.

      Considering the mapping of the doors was the same for Ben and Barbie, I think it’s likely that we’re going to find all the images are going to be the same. This does lead to a rather scary thought, is Barbie one of Ben’s lesser seen alien heroes? Is Ken a distant relative of the Tennison’s who has been shacking up with Barbie? Is the Rustbucket formerly Barbie’s RV where all the make-up counters have been replaced with super-computers? Did Gwen and Charmcaster really become ‘special friends’ and get all sweaty and grindy? Whatever happend to all Barbies pets and babies?

      So, lets try a link up. The log the bird was sitting on had snow on it, so I think we’ve got a bit of a story going in the background here.

      You see, ’tis the season for hacking away vegetation to bring it indoors where after being strung up with tinsel and electrics it will most likely wither and die. In the process of chopping down the Christmas Tree it fell on a passing snowman swooshing down the hill on a sled. The snowman exploded, spraying snow everywhere, including straight up. As gravity took its toll, the snow fell and covered the fallen wood. A passing robin fluttered down to rest. Yes indeed. Tis the season.

      Now, I know what you are wondering – how did a snowman get a sled? Calvin and Hobbes, obviously. Calvin makes suicidal and incident prone snowmen and frequently goes for reckless trips down hills, why not listen to Hobbes and use a test subject?

      ]]>       http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2008/knock-knock-knockin-on-advents-door/feed/ 0       X-E Box 23: Advent-urers Assemble – Guise, Dio and Co. (Filler) http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2008/x-e-box-23-advent-urers-assemble-guise-dio-and-co-filler/ http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2008/x-e-box-23-advent-urers-assemble-guise-dio-and-co-filler/#comments Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:39:23 +0000 Guise Dugal http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/?p=585 This one ties to an earlier entry and comes after Dio’s recent story on her dA. Once again, crossposted to dA.

      T.H.R.E.A.D
      Floor Five – Habitational Level

      “Aha,” Guise exclaimed lifting the handheld device in to the air, with just a little backlighting and a miniscule fanfare he would have been mistaken for being sucked in to part of the Zelda series. Suddenly aware of his surroundings again, Guise clamped his mouth shut and looked slightly sheepish.

      “Are we done here?” Ninten asked, peering through the door as he stood outside, “Can we set it up?”.

      “Eh, you can run along, kid,” Guise said as he fiddled with Dio’s highly modded Pokedex, pulling wires straight and connecting them to the main system in the room, “I only needed a guide to where Dio had been allocated dorm this year, her directions leave just a little to be desired concerning distances.”

      “What about getting it running?” Ninten asked, rather grumpily.

      “Oh, it’s easy enough,” Guise said with a smile, “seen it done by a buddy a while back, old…*ahem*…acquaintence of Red. Oh man, the things they used it for, and the copies going around the ‘net.” Guise sniggered as he began switching the devices on.

      “Man,” he said eventually as he finished the logins from T.H.R.E.A.D. hub to PokeWeb to general internet, “the sooner we un-firewall all the messenger systems the better. If I have to go through this everytime, I’m gonna kick up.”

      “Anything I can do?” Ninten asked, growing bored.

      “Sure,” Guise said, a warm smile on his face, “go find Ness and Lucas, make sure Ness is staying out of trouble and, more importantly, not dragging Lucas in to it.”

      Before Ninten could voice his disapproval of his duties, Guise refocused on the Pokedex and monitor. He tapped away on the small keypad and waited as the system bought up his face in a video frame and an empty black frame next to it. The monitor echoed the ringing of a telephone as the video call attempted to go through.

      The ringing end and the screen shifted between different levels of brightness and contrast, before settling on a closeness to natural light. In the window besides his video, a man of disturbingly similar – yet slightly more wild and manic – features looked back.

      “Yeah-llo?” Dugal Dugal replied, stroking back strands of unruly, grungy hair from his face.

      “Dugs,” Guise said, leaning in towards the monitor, “it’s me I need you t…Dugs…?”

      “Yeah?”

      “Dugs,” Guise’s face was a mix of increduality and confusion, “what is that ungodly mess behind you?”

      ******
      (Blog Entry: Excuses, Excuses, Excuses)
      ******

      Dio slowly glided down the hallway, her three young charges in tow. “Yeah, where you at anyway…?”, she heard from the open doorway to her dorm as she neared.

      Sat on the very end of her bed, Guise looked in to the monitors glow. “Well, that’s the thing,” Guise said, his tone changing to a more level manner that hid the shouting and exasperation of the rest of the call, “you ever heard of “Arcano”?”

      “Is he like some kind of comic book villain,” Dugal asked, rubbing his chin with his thumb, “Cos, I don’t keep up much with Marvel or DC these days.”

      “No, he’s more like,” Guise considered his words, “well, apparently, some kind of parallel universe demonic entity that may or may not be the Sabbuca-induced love child of Tim Curry’s Pennywise and Jim Carrey’s Grinch.”

      “Oh,” dugal said, a slight bead of sweat forming on his forehead, “I’m going to go with ‘no’ then.”

      “Dammit,” Guise moaned, “I think we might have sent Will’s crew on a wild goose hunt with a treasure map to El Dorado and by the looks of it we’ve got something worse on the horizon. Could do with as many hands on deck as we can get.”

      “You want us to join you?” Dugal said, straightening up.

      “Yeeeeah-no, it’s not that desperate,” Guise paused, considering, “it’s never that desperate.”

      “So, what do you want from us?”

      “First, see what you can find about Arcano or anything like it,” Guise said, slowly counting off on his fingers, “Try and scout out an advent calendar, see if we can get a heads up. Run a search on circuses operat…”

      “Circuses?” Dugal asked, “This hardly looks the time to be taking day trips with her and her…wait, when did she get three boys?”

      “Huh?” Guise said, turning to finally catch sight of Dio and the boys behind him, “Oh, hey you.”

      “Hey,” Dio said, returning an offered smile, she approached Guise to be better in picture and addressed Dugal, “This isn’t really for a social outing, hon. This is purely advent-ure.”

      “Can we still go to the circus, Nee-chan?” Lucas asked, looking over hopefully, “Haven’t been for so long!”

      “Circuses suck,” Ninten moaned, “and all the hay, sand, dust and animal hair. Bleh.”

      “But, the lions are cool,” Ness said, attempting to counter the protest, “and humman cannonball!”

      “I like circuses,” the boy on the screen said, leaning in to view across Dugal, “please, onee-san, can we?”

      Guise sighed, dropping his head and stifling a grin. In the event of demonic threat and potential armageddon, it was refreshing to have the naivety the circuses were innocent, pure and enjoyable experiences without knowing the sinister nature behind each and everyone of them.

      “We’ll see,” Dio said, smiling at her companions and then at the young boy in the monitor, “but right now, we need to work. It seems that maybe HU or some of the others are linked to a circus, but we have no idea which or where.”

      “You sure it’s not just paranoia,” Dugal smirked, “we all know about lil Guisey and the scary, scary clowns.”

      Guise’s head shot up. “Hey, clowns don’t scare me,” he said loudly, then his voice dropped to a mutter, “they just make me uncomfortable.”

      “Yeah, right,” Dugal snickered.

      “Dugal,” Dio said, shaking her head, “If you want to help, just do a search and see if you can find anything – maybe somewhere is advertising having a rabbit-boy or something as an attraction.”

      “Fine,” Dugal sighed, “I’ll add it to the list. Now, if there’s nothing else…?” Dio and Guise responded to the negative. “Good, in that case…Dio, I’ve got mistletoe.”

      “…and, end transmission,” Guise said, closing the messenger window and looking up at Dio sheepishly. “What say we unplug this before he works out how to make a return call?”

      ]]>       http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2008/x-e-box-23-advent-urers-assemble-guise-dio-and-co-filler/feed/ 0       X-E Box 23: Advent-urers Assemble Part II http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2008/x-e-box-23-advent-urers-assemble-part-ii/ http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2008/x-e-box-23-advent-urers-assemble-part-ii/#comments Sun, 23 Nov 2008 22:13:13 +0000 Guise Dugal http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/?p=575 Once again, cross-posted to dA

      T.H.R.E.A.D
      Floor Four – Global Surveillance Operations Centre Alpha-Five

      “Amy, any news?” Will asked as he and Guise enterred the room. Amy stood hunched over a tabletop LCD display of the world, a stylus between her fingers as she poked the display zooming in to areas around the globe.

      “Some,” Amy sighed, shaking head “but not enough. His disappearance doesn’t seem to be linked to any goings on and we’ve detected no messages concerning ransom or imprisonment, we’ve reached pretty much a dead end on our search for him.”

      Will nodded; a downcast, concerned look on his face. “Guess the rescue comittee can be standing down for the while, or least rejoin the efforts to watch over our other friends.”

      “It’s just not like him to disappear and then leave a trail of insane, rambling clues in his wake for nothing.”

      “Amy,” Guise said quietly, a smirk played at the corner of his lips, “It’s Doho, what about this isn’t just him?”

      Amy pointed the stylus like a dart as she prepared to counter the englishman, then sagged her shoulders and let a grin take over. “We’ll find Anja,” Amy grinned, “then we’ll start a rota on people who get to slap him.”

      “I’ll start taking requests for timeslots,” Guise replied, he held out a hand and beckoned, “break time, the search can wait a few minutes.”

      As Amy passed, Will clamped her on the shoulder and lead her out with a smile, as Guise flicked on the bouncing bunny screensaver and dimmed the lights. No sooner were they in to the corridor when a klaxon resounded around them, red lights flashing. Guise tapped his comwatch, “Guise to Anyone, sitrep?”

      “Guise,” a familiar voice crackled back, “Deej here, got an unconfirmed entry in access point of Pod 6, cameras went offline. I’m on way, FM and Macabre are nearby, but not sure what is coming through. Drones are currently crashing offline, whatever it is, it’s very big and very powerful!”

      Will had already unsheathed his Cutlass Chainsword and switched on his cyber-enhanced targetting eyepatch, whilst Amy was toting twin pistols that had managed to stay secluded somewhere somehow. “Shall we,” Will asked, his face barely masking the excitement for a good fight.

      T.H.R.E.A.D
      Floor Five – Habitational Level, Pod Six

      “Souls of the damned hear my beckoning, your master calls you,” Veggie Macabre stood amongst a hopping army of zucchini’s, their pointed teeth gnashing in the direction of the thick steel doors. The spirit of the great voodoo priest and part-time vegan chef, Baron Saladi, empowered the figure, making him his avatar on the mortal realm. “A leaders call goes out, possess and compell, your form awaits.”

      Macabre tossed the iceberg lettuce he was holding into the air, in an instant it exploded in a thick cloud of green smoke. As the smoke parted it revealed a finger, completely green and leafy, his very features defined by the salad vegetable he had been born from. “Ah, my Lettuce Lich,” Macabre sneered, his eyes glowing a bright vermillion tint, “do my bidding, and lead the Swarm of Satan’s Salad beyond and face our intruder.”

      On the far side of the room, Fungus Mungus gripped hold of the emergency release lever. One hand rested on the mushroom shaped grenades hanging from his belt. “Get ready,” FM shouted, he pulled one grenade free as the lever descended. The great door creaked to life and slowly parted.

      “Now!” FM yelled, he tossed the smoking grenade into the chamber beyond, causing a tremondous flash. “Blinding Toadstool Spores!”

      T.H.R.E.A.D
      Floor Five – Habitational Level, Central Hub

      “Deej!” Guise shouted as he, Amy and Will rounded the corner. DJ D himself was running through the corridors, but slowed as he heard his name from behind.

      “Cool, you made it!” Deej nodded satisfied. As he waited for the three to catch up he adjust his mic-and-earphone headset and sorted his band shirt in to a more unkempt appearance. “Thought only me and the Banshee were going to get to help out.”

      DJ D lifted his hefty weapon from off his back; a sturdy, bulky cannon like device that would make Rob Liefield want to use the term ‘overkill’. Lights flickered across the weapon, dozens of dials and switches gleamed. The muzzle of the weapon ended in a matte black stereo speaker that seemed to hum with energy.

      “We just got stuck trying to get past evacuating Pod Sixers,” Amy muttered, “They just wouldn’t let us get our job done.”

      “Pod Six are jerks,” Guise nodded, he clenched his fists, “We good to go?”

      “Let’s rock!” DJ D said, and the four set off again.

      T.H.R.E.A.D
      Floor Five – Habitational Level, Pod Six

      The spray of tossed salad blew in like a blizzard, thick chucks of zucchini and lettuce leaf coating the floor. The Radish Revenants had been repelled early, the carrot corpse corps had been diced and even the Cherry Tomato Kamikaze attack had been squashed. Macabre’s face had gone from it’s usual tinge, to a bright beetroot of frustration.

      FM went to reach for another grenade, but found only pins on his belt, and by the sounds of the ever approaching battle, even his Mushroom Minefield had been overcome. “We’re almost out of drones,” FM shouted, his voice carrying over the ever increasing sound of blasts and strange crackling.

      “They, it…is upon us,” Macabre shouted back, he attempted once more to raise forms from the wasted vegetation around his feet, but the crisp salad only swirled; at best, he reckoned he could forge a forcefield of vegetables to buy time for them to retreat until support arrived.

      “Take position,” Will shouted from behind Macabre and Mungus, as he charged in to the room with DJ D, Amy and Guise. The newcomers spread out, Will and Guise crouching ahead of the group on either side of the doors ready to charge for melee, while Amy ran over to FMs position to aim for cover fire. DJ D set his weapon to charge, the muzzle hum growing louder, he dwiddled the dials and then pulled out a small white rectangular object, gliding his thumb against it.

      “How about something festive,” DJ shouted, “Twisted Sister’s Oh Come All Ye?”

      A sudden electronic scream filled the air and one of the robotic guard drones flew through the open door, it’s body covered in flames. A brightly coloured bird-like shape, no larger than a bald eagle but made of vibrant energy, tore through the gap and impacted with robot, blowing it to sparks and shrapnel.

      “Wavebird?” Guise whispered to himself, a dawning realisation.

      “Sweetie, I’ve got these,” a young female voice called through the smoke, “Make for the door!”

      “Dio?” Guise’s eyes opened wide, he heard the whine from DJ D’s weapon. “Deej, wait!”

      A young boy flew through the door and crashed in to the floor, rolling across the smooth surface. The boy had a sweet freshness to his face that radiated an aura of innocence around his whole being. His mop of blonde hair wisped up at the front, and he looked up at DJ D’s muzzle with doe eyes. The boy gave a small squeak and his lip trembled nervously.

      His finger on the trigger, DJ D held back on squeezing, merely staring at the boy through the highly calibrated sights. His attention quickly shifted as a heavy clang came from beyond the doorway. Dio stepped through the haze, two white ‘chuks in her hands.

      Two small boys walked behind Dio, they looked almost identical but small indications seperated them enough. Both wore identical yellow and blue striped t-shirts and red caps with blue peaks, though at different angles. Both carried a baseball ball, resting on a shoulder. One of the boys wore a bandana, marking the only real difference in wardrobe.

      “You just abducting kids everywhere, Dio?” Guise asked, getting up from his crouch.

      “Someone has to, they weren’t going to just abduct themselves,” Dio responded with a smile towards the englishman, a playful twinkle in her eyes.

      T.H.R.E.A.D
      Floor Three – “Mista Snowman’s Sundaes” Ice Cream and Milkshake Parlour

      As the three young boys – who Dio had logged in to the system as Lucas (the blonde), Ness and Ninten (the bandana) – worked their way through assorted free ice cream sundaes, Dio sat with the small group of some of her fellow Advent-urers as they took a brief break. As the group brought her up to date on the current mysteries surrounding the Grande Mansion and the messages believed to have been released from Hssxxlllo, she filled them in on her recent exploits.

      “So, where’s Lex?” Guise asked, taking another sip of his heated soymilk and gingerbread syrup.

      “Last I saw he was chasing this blonde woman,” Dio sighed, shaking her head, “she was wearing an aqua coloured jumpsuit, and he just followed her legs, drooling like a puppy.”

      “Boy likes his legs,” Guise grinned.

      “And butt, going from how tight that jumpsuit was,” Dio seconded, grinning in to her glass.

      “Which you obviously noticed,” DJ D laughed, earning him a grin from Guise and a wicked smirk from Dio.

      “Well, if Lex gets the hint that this Sammy chick isn’t interested,” Dio grinned, “he’ll be back after about the fifteenth slap.”

      “What if she is interested?” Guise asked.

      “If you’d seen her, you’d know,” Dio said, her eyes closing and a happy, blissful smile on her face, which suddenly changed to a chuckle, “Girl would snap him like a twig.”

      Damn it is good to have Dio back with us; missed ya.

      Yes, I did take the easy route with FM, Deej and Amy; sorry guys but I’m uncreative like that.

      ]]>       http://www.rogues.1me.net/blog/2008/x-e-box-23-advent-urers-assemble-part-ii/feed/ 6